Lily Allen checked into a treatment centre after her separation from David Harbour. Photo / Getty Images
Lily Allen checked into a treatment centre after her separation from David Harbour. Photo / Getty Images
Lily Allen “wanted to die” and had her sobriety tested after her separation from actor David Harbour.
The singer, 40, who married Harbour, 50, in 2020, also told British Vogue in a new chat she checked herself into a treatment centre in January after recognising her mental health was deteriorating.
Allen had previously discussed her decision to seek therapy on her Miss Me? podcast, saying she wanted to be her “strongest self” for her two daughters.
Speaking about the aftermath of the split, she told Vogue: “I’ve had real problems with food over the past few years. [In the thick of the break-up] it got really, really, really bad.
“I knew that the things I was feeling were too extreme to be able to manage, and I was like, ‘I need some time away’. I’ve been into those places [residential treatment facilities] before against my will and I feel like that’s progress in itself. That’s strength.”
Asked how she knew she needed help, Allen said: “That I wanted to die. The feelings of despair that I was experiencing were so strong.
“The last time that I felt anything like that, drugs and alcohol were my way out, so it was excruciating to sit with those [feelings] and not to use them.”
Best known for her hit songs Smile, F*** You and It’s Not Fair, Allen said she continues to feel “compassion” for Harbour, famed for his role in Stranger Things.
Lily Allen's new album, due this year, reflects on her marriage to David Harbour. Photo / Getty Images
She added: “There were lots of good things. My kids had an amazing experience living in America for five years, and I have a lot of compassion for my ex-husband. I think we all suffer.”
Allen has two daughters with her former husband Sam Cooper, whom she married in 2011.
Her comments come ahead of the release of her fifth studio album, her first since No Shame in 2018.
She said the record draws on her personal experiences, including aspects of her marriage.
Allen added: “I want to feel validated. I want to feel like it’s okay to feel the things that I’m feeling and to be angry about the thing that I’m angry about.
“There are things that are on the record that I experienced within my marriage, but that’s not to say that it’s all gospel. It is inspired by what went on in the relationship.”
The daughter of actor Keith Allen, she has also developed a growing acting career.
She has starred on the West End stage in 2:22 A Ghost Story, in the Sky series Dreamland, and in the West End revival of Martin McDonagh’s The Pillowman.
Reflecting on her current wellbeing, Allen said: “[I’m] really not in the same space that I was when I wrote [these] songs. I have come a long way. I feel okay, actually. Maybe the play has given me an outlet to express my rage.”
Her full interview appears in the November issue of British Vogue, available digitally and in print from October 21.
