There's being fashionably late and then there's just missing the boat. And while there's no shortage of expensive looking boats in the first trailer for the upcoming Entourage flick I can't help but reckon that this particular ship has sailed.
Sure, HBO's Entourage was fun for its first few seasons. The glitzy dramedy chronicling the ever increasing fortunes of rising movie star Vinnie Chase, his three BFFs and his short tempered, expletive-spewing agent Ari Gold.
Based on the real life experiences of actual movie star Marky Mark Wahlberg, the show set out to give us mere mortals a glimpse at the reality behind the fantasy of the movie star lifestyle.
It could never be mistaken for a doco - or even a True Life Story for that matter - but it did pull Hollywood's curtain back just far enough to expose the truth and show us that being rich and famous wasn't everything we'd ever been sold.
It was, in fact, much, much better.
The show revelled in its gauche, unabashed escapism. Chase and his three coat-tail riding pals had mo' money, no problems. Life was all fast cars and fast women. Pot, parties and premieres. A consequence-free carousel of carnality. Very occasionally a little "work".
But mostly the foursome just spent each episode breezing through whatever headaches their own wilful breeziness had caused them. There was seemingly no problem that couldn't be solved with nothing more than blind faith that it would all work itself out in the end.
And, if by some miraculous stroke of bad fortune everything somehow didn't work out, then hey, they'd all just pack their bags and return back to the old neighbourhood. No biggie. And certainly nothing to get hung about.
Being television and not real life everything always worked out. Episode after episode. Season after season. It almost became a running joke. It did become dull.
Midway through its run I had to escape its humdrum escapism. It had become predictable and pointless. Oh no, Vinnie ain't returning Ari's phone call! Oh no, his bro E can't get a date! Oh no, his actual brother Johnny Drama can't get an audition! Oh no, his buddy Turtle can't score some weed! Oh wait, all that stuff just totally just worked out for them. Phew! Can't wait for the next episode ...
That right there is pretty much the plot of every Entourage episode ever. Sometimes they were on a boat, or at Sundance, or on a movie set somewhere but the story remained the same. And, no matter what, things always worked out.
Just once it would have been nice if things hadn't worked out. A little comeuppance wouldn't have gone wanting and would have created more interesting storylines than Turtle failing to acquire some dope new sneakers.
Look, I never expected a fluff show like Entourage to become Breaking Bad or anything, but its resolute unwillingness to show any consequences ever for basically acting like an over-privileged, self-entitled asshat is what ultimately saw me switching the series off.
And no, not because it cut too close to home, but rather because it became boring to watch.
I'm sure the show was never meant to be anything other than an ultra-glossy male Sex & the City knock-off, and in duplicating that vibe it certainly succeeded.
But this was back in 2004. By the time the curtain finally dropped in 2011 it was widely acknowledged that the show had run its course. By design the characters had little depth to them and squeezing eight seasons of "it'll all work out" storytelling out of them was a mildly impressive feat.
This, however, did not stop everyone involved from threatening a film. It took a while for all the pieces to fall into place but hey, look, it all worked out, and here we are with a movie sequel to a middling series that ended four years ago and is now largely irrelevant. Yay?
To be fair, Jeremy Piven's portrayal of the super-stressed, super-swearer, Ari, is always a joy to behold. No one can cuss up a blue storm like this guy and predictably the trailer leans heavily on him to propel both plot and humour.
But overall the movie's plot appears to be exactly the same as every episode ever made. You have Ari stressing out because everyone else is not stressing out about some problem with the movie they're making or whatever.
I don't know. I don't care. I've seen it all before. Besides, the film's characters don't give a damn, why should I?
You don't have to see the movie to know exactly what's going to happen. No matter what the problem is, it will work itself out in the end.
It always does.
* The Entourage movie releases in New Zealand theatres on June 4.
* Looking forward to the Entourage movie? Post your comments below!