I don't know if this helps, but your makeup and outfit look really good tonight. Photo / Channel 9
Married At First Sight's nude pic scandal explodes at Wednesday night's dinner party, with the malicious form of payback making Olivia's cut-up poo dress revenge seem reasonable by comparison.
We've seen some atrocious things on the show this season, but this latest incident is the worst — and I'm including the time we had to watch a naked Mitch twerk upside down in the shower.
"It's horrific to watch," John Aiken winces to his fellow experts as they watch tonight's public attack unfold. That quote really should just be the slogan used on all the Married At First Sight highway billboards.
"I honestly think this dinner party won't be as explosive as the last commitment ceremony," we overhear Jack say to his wife Domenica as they get ready for the party.
Sweet, naive, Jack. Saying that before a Married At First Sight dinner party is bad luck. It's like boarding a flight and saying, "I hope this plane doesn't crash".
Don't tempt fate.
What Jack and Domenica don't realise is, outside their apartment, in the dark and dank halls of Huas Of Trash, a scandal is unfolding. And they're at the centre of it.
"A photo of one of the brides has been discovered on a paid social media site for sharing private content and is now circulating in the group," the gossipy voiceover lady tells us breathlessly.
As soon as the producers discover what's going on, they immediately step in and put an end to the heinous behaviour.
Ha! Of course they don't. Instead, they yank everyone aside and pump them for goss on camera.
"What about this photo that's circulating?" a producer asks Tamara, who plays dumb.
"Are you talking about Domenica's OnlyFans thing?" she eventually replies, lowering her voice to a whisper. "I don't think we're allowed to talk about that."
"Well I'm asking you," the producer snips in a no-nonsense tone, like a mum demanding her kids own up to who broke the coffee mug.
Tamara remains coy, so the producers move on to harass all the other lunatics. Jackson, Cody, Samantha and Selina. They've all seen it.
"So the photo was of a particular bride laying in her birthday suit on her tummy, bum up," Selina describes it.
"Oh, f***. Are people bringing that up? I've been sent something," Samantha cringes.
The producers are so thirsty to get as much intel about this nudie pic that they don't even bother to ask Samantha about her eye infection:
All the brides say they know who's behind the leak but refuse to name and shame. Who could it be?
One guess: She's got two thumbs, no soul and cuts up other people's clothing.
We head straight to Olivia's apartment and producers make sure to add really sinister music over the footage in post-production, just to make it clear we're dealing with a villain.
"When Domenica smashed a glass in all our faces, I researched who I'm dealing with," she says with a smug smirk. "Apparently Dom has an OnlyFans."
OK, so Olivia is trying to live out a twisted Blair Waldorf fantasy by trying to take down Domenica with this warped scheme.
"I think she's so below me in terms of class, morals and just general morality, that I don't want anything to do with her," she continues to rant about her nemesis.
"I don't wanna be associated with her. I'm embarrassed to be on this experiment with her."
Hey — stop right there, Olivia. There are many reasons for why you should be embarrassed to be on this experiment but Domenica isn't one of them.
"I honestly hope she just goes off on a tangent, says something awful and, like, bloody, ties the noose," she snips.
If karma is real, it will ensure Olivia is locked in a gymnasium for all of eternity with nothing to do but watch Jackson lift heavy things.
"I definitely hope Liv's nasty side doesn't come out," Jackson says as they head to the cocktail party, apparently unfazed by the fact his wife dug around for a nude pic of Domenica and shared it with everyone as revenge."
OK, Jackson, lemme break it down for you. Olivia's nasty side is literally her one and only side.
At the cocktail party, of course the producers drive Dom and Jack's car around the block repeatedly to ensure they arrive last, thus providing ample time for all the other lunatics to talk about the photo.
Olivia plays dumb.
"What photo?" she says when Tamara asks her about it.
Tamara stares at her with a furrowed brow, as if to say, the one you printed out at Officeworks and slid under all our doors.
"Oh, yeah. Like, the OnlyFans stuff?" Olivia nods, before casually saying she simply Googled Dom and then stumbled across it.
"I have no idea who has seen it in the group — I just sent the photos through. So, my bad — but also, I don't really care enough to double think it. Look, I'm not here to s*** shame anybody but … it's a lot."
Not only does this behaviour make the cut-up poo dress revenge seem reasonable, it also makes Ines look like a saint.
Weirdly, none of the other contestants seem to see anything wrong with Olivia's behaviour and — in an appalling twist — blame Dom instead.
"If you decide to put something like that out there, you have to own it," Tamara declares.
"You have to deal with the repercussions and these are the repercussions — people are gonna talk about it and show each other those kinds of photos, it's what happens in the real world."
Hold up. Time for some real talk: attitudes like this are outdated and ignorant. Simply declaring that the only way to avoid a situation like this is to just not post nudes online or just not text them or just not take them at all is like saying the only way to avoid pregnancy and STIs is to simply abstain from sex. Domenica chose to publish the photo on a subscription platform. She didn't choose for it to be maliciously sent around to acquaintances who otherwise wouldn't have known about it.
Gosh, I hate having to get all serious and crack down on the kids like that in these recaps. I'm meant to be the cool mum. Let's change gears to something lighter. I wish Dion was here so I could make fun of his blazer.
The producers time Dom and Jack's arrival so that they walk in just as dinner is being served — leaving no time for the oblivious couple to hear any of the gossipy whispers. It's all going to come out over the dining table.
Or, hey, maybe it won't. Maybe someone will pull Dom aside and delicately explain it to her so she's not blindsided.
"We've all seen an image of you pretty much naked on a couch!" Cody blurts out to Dom across the table.
We then cut to Al, and why hasn't Samantha put him to bed yet?
"Like, it is an OnlyFans thing that got spread out," Cody continues. "Does Jack know you have an OnlyFans account?
Codes, your approach to this entire situation is more disgusting than the vegetable crisper in your fridge, which we assume you use as a bin.
"I'm aware — I don't really care," Jack replies, clearly stunned but trying to downplay it while supporting his wife. "Who cares. I've been aware of this from week one or two."
We cut to Olivia, who seems disappointed that her cruel scheme hasn't turned Jack against Dom.
"I think what's more concerning is how is it circulating?" Jack stares down the group.
Everyone still refuses to point the finger at Olivia. Through all of this, Dom remains silent. Being the victim of one of Olivia's cruel schemes is bad. But not being told about it by the girls she thought were her friends hurts worse.
"It's not my fault!" Tamara gets defensive. "No one was talking s***! And you guys (Jack and Dom) get all this negativity in your heads like we're talking s*** — that's so unfair!"
Feeling the walls closing in and sensing her cover will eventually be blown, Olivia owns up to it — sorta, kinda, not really.
"I'll be honest … when we had our (glassing) thing, my friends googled you," she says. "And they showed me (the photo) and I mentioned it to Selina. Like, no judgment, it's 2021. It wasn't done out of malice."
After sitting quietly and letting the steam build up, Dom blows.
"I've got no issue with people knowing that I've done that," she yells.
"And I told Jack from day one. But that's not the issue — the issue I've got here is I don't know how you thought that was any of your business to spread that around. If people wanted to Google me, they could Google me. But you clearly sent that — and that's gossip."
Olivia keeps whipping out passive aggressive remarks.
"I just mentioned it," she snips. "It didn't come with any malice or judgment or anything. No judgment girl, it's 2021, you can do what you want with your body."
Mmmhmmm. Mmhm. No malice? Coming from the girl who said she wanted to burn Dom at the stake?
Then Tamara starts lumping the blame on Dom again. We're not surprised. After all, this is the same woman who launched a nine-minute rant about retail workers at her wedding.
"I'm sorry but you put it out there," she whines. "You created an OnlyFans. This is what people who put their nude photos online … they've gotta cop this back!"
Yeah! And anyone who has ever bought anything online deserves to have their credit cards scammed and their identities stolen!
After clumsily blime-fibing Dom with the news at the beginning of dinner, Cody decides to pipe back up to offer more useless commentary.
"Shut ya mouth, shut ya mouth," Dom yells at him as Jackson begins to pile on. "Pair of d***heads!"
Ella — who was the only wife to not know about the photo — pulls Dom away to have a quiet chat but there isn't much to say.
"Psycho b****!" Dom seethes about Olivia.
There's no point in hanging around any longer. She walks out of the dinner party and through the back hallway, trying to escape the camera.
"Get the microphone off me! Get the microphone off me!" she yells, scratching at the cords strapped to her body. "I will literally get naked so you cannot film me!"
And we believe her. Because after Olivia's nasty stunt, it's nothing those lunatics haven't seen before.
MAFS is available in NZ on Three and ThreeNow.
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