TV review: Sure to be a classic with Wipeout fans

New Zealand proved better at destroying safety glass than the Germans. Photo / Supplied

Kiwis have always been good at obscure sports. A small country, we often sensibly steer clear of the big events, such as world cup football or Wimbledon, and choose to excel in smaller fields like rowing and lawn bowls. Thus, TV2's new Sunday night treat in the big dumb telly genre is tailor-made for a nation that loves the slogan "world famous in New Zealand".

NZ Smashes Guinness World Records offers the game and gung-ho, unrestrained by an excess of safety consciousness (your average Kiwi driver, say), the chance to shine in such illustrious endeavours as raw-onion eating and smashing safety glass.

All this is presided over by Marc Ellis, who appears to be about to set his own world record for most hosting jobs in one year of local television. Ellis also seems to be trying to make it a double with the gong for most use of the word "classic" in one commercial half-hour.

To be fair, the show opened with a big number; an event most of us are probably aware of from the "wacky world stories" column or the light and bright final item on the telly news: how many people can you squash into a Mini?

"It's a classic," Ellis warned us. "It's a top 10 classic."

The record was held, surprisingly, by the Spanish. Not the obvious choice. Anyone who has travelled in the Tokyo rush hour would have expected this to be a doddle for the Japanese.

The Kiwis willing to give this one a go were a bunch of cheerleaders. Well, you'd hardly expect a group of professionally trained encouragers to be naysayers or look for excuses to wriggle out. What's more these people were "classic cheerleaders", Ellis told us, although one of their number was, in fact, a man. As well as being naturally flexible, the cheerleaders had well co-ordinated moves and they had even brought a "crammer" to help squeeze 'em in. At this point, the reliably blokey Ellis' face was a picture of ecstasy - the emotion, not the drug. "This is going to be splendid to watch," he drooled. As indeed it proved as the record fell to the lithe and lissom lovelies.

The rest of the show was the preserve of big dumb blokes. Alas, Cage Devine bit off more than he could chew with his attempt on the raw onion eating record, hopelessly outclassed by a chap from Barbados. Pretty much on a par then, with the state of Kiwi cricket.

In a worrying development, New Zealand proved better at glass smashing than the Germans, though anyone who uses North Shore City bus stops can tell you there is plenty of talent lurking in the suburbs.

Meanwhile, this show looks set to fill a gap in the schedules for those who can't get enough of Wipe Out and the sea-slug eating on Island Wars.

On a more esoteric note, the small but dedicated True Blood fang club will have welcomed the return of Alan Ball's veritable orgy of Southern gothic on Prime, with the added frisson this season of the romance between stars Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer.

Vampires are everywhere. Seems every girl loves a blood sucking guy with old-fashioned manners and a good vocabulary, so far removed from the real world of pizza-chomping blokes glued to their computer games or big dumb TV. Yes True Blood is escapist in every way, even those naked sex scenes are pure fantasy. Everyone knows Americans have sex with their underwear on.

Still, we can rely on Ball even at his most far-fetched, to have something interesting to say about America. This season the show is set to delve into religion. Should be an intriguing clash between those convinced they have a ticket to heaven and the pesky undead.