SPOILER ALERT: This article contains major spoilers for Game of Thrones Season 7, Episode 5: Eastwatch. Do not read if you haven't seen the episode.
It's been a long time coming but fans are getting payoffs all over the show in the latest episode of Game of Thrones, the biggest of which is: Gendry is finally back!
Gendry's been missing for what feels like a thousand years after the Brotherhood sold him to Melisandre and Davos smuggled him to safety. Why? Because he's the heir of Robert Baratheon and everyone wants him dead lest he make a valid claim to the throne.
Davos shimmied into King's Landing where Gendry's been hiding LITERALLY THIS WHOLE TIME as a blacksmith, and the second Davos turned up Gendry grabbed his things and was ready to go because he's just been waiting for his time to shine.
So now Gendry's joined Team Jon - potentially as the blacksmith of some zombie-killing weapons? - which has had a few upgrades after this episode, but more on that later.
Because while, after last week's action-packed, battle-filled episode, this one seemed like nothing happened, there was so much exposition and game play that it's genuinely left me more excited than 10,000 Dothraki riding over a hill with a dragon.
• Sam's father and brother were executed by Drogon so now he's the last Tarly and technically the head of his house (once they cut through some Night's Watch red tape). RIP Dickon, hopefully the last of his name.
• Ser Jorah is fully healed and back with Dany.
• Sansa is still being a major boss in Winterfell and holding down the fort despite the Lords of the North trying to convince her to usurp her brother's throne. Problem is, Arya thinks that's Sansa's endgame, because much like the GoT fandom, she's still judging Sansa based on what she was like in Season 1. For shame.
• Bran has finally decided to, you know, actually use his magic Three-Eyed Raven powers and see what's going on north of the wall. Even better, he then (finally) decides, to actually clue some people in, sending ravens all over Westeros to inform everyone a zombie horde is headed their way.
Elsewhere, Sam continues to be a badass at the Citadel, imploring the Maesters to head Bran's warning and Jon and Tyrion have convinced Dany to heed the warning too which leads to our other two main revelations:
Jon Snow's parentage has been confirmed
While studying with Sam, Gilly reads out a record of King Rhaegar having had an annulment and re-married. Which (probably) means, Daenerys's brother, Rhaegar, was actually at some point married to Lyanna Stark as well as Elia Martell, meaning Jon isn't a bastard at all and not only is he a stark, but a Targaryen as well, basically making him the King of the World.
And on top of that, Gendry Baratheon has basically sworn allegiance to Jon, and Dany is definitely planning a Stark/Targaryen (Targaryen/Targaryen?) wedding already so can you say "Dream Team"?
Team Jon and Team Dany vs The White Walkers
Teams Jon and Dany are on a mission to convince Cersei of the threat of the White Walkers, so Jon, Jorah, Gendry and a few wildlings - plus the Brotherhood and the Hound (having turned up at the wall and locked in jail earlier) - have gone North to capture a Wight to take Cersei as proof so she'll join them.
And on top of that, Cersei is totally on board (because she's losing the war anyway). But she's also going to use the opportunity to take Dany down: "We have to be clever, we have to fight her like father would have".
And a bonus revelation: Cersei is pregnant! And she and Jaime are coming out as lovers! And I don't know why I'm suddenly in total support of incest but I kind of am! Yay Team Lannister.
that letter Littlefinger planted for Arya to find
? It's the letter Cersei forced Sansa to write to Robb to get him to bend the knee to Joffrey and avoid war, because Littlefinger does not want Stark fans to have a happy ending. Hopefully Arya adds him to her kill list, but tensions are already high between her and Sansa so things aren't looking good.
At any rate, we're finally about to get some White Walker action and, if all goes to plan, we could be about to see everyone with a claim to the throne; Jon, Dany, Gendry and Cersei in the same room for the first time and if you're not excited, you're not watching it right.
Catch up on our Game of Thrones podcast here:
In exciting news, we've got ourselves officially signed up to the iTunes store so you can subscribe to our weekly ramblings.
*Game of Thrones airs on SoHo at 1pm and 8.30pm on Mondays, and is available to stream on NEON.