Chrissy Teigen has opened up about her grief over the loss of her baby son Jack in the week he was due to be born.
And she's also shared her regret at not looking at his face because she was afraid of "seeing him in her nightmares", reports the Daily Mail.
The 35-year-old model shared a candid post on Instagram alongside photos from husband John Legend's Wild music video. The couple used the images to announce the pregnancy in August last year, but tragically lost their son to stillbirth in September.
Mum of two Chrissy wrote in the caption of her "daily remorse" over not seeing her baby's face when he was born.
"I am so full of regret that I didn't look at his face when he was born. I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams. I hurt every day from that remorse."
This time of year is a "rough reminder" of baby Jack's due date, she wrote.
"I was 10 weeks along and out of my mind happy. I knew the video would take a bit to get together so thought it would be cute to share our news with the world through the ol classic hand on belly trick at the end.
"I could have never imagined what would happen over the next 10 weeks ... not sure I'll ever be able to watch that video again without sobbing but I hope he feels my tears and knows we miss him so," she said.
"He would have been here any day now — if he were like Luna and Miles, I'd probably be holding him as we speak.
And she was grateful for the support from her fans, writing that she "loved them to pieces".
"I firmly believe energy and healing travels through the night sky and I feel it, I promise I do and I love you Jack. I miss you so so much."
John and Chrissy made the decision to share their stillbirth story in detail last year, and were applauded for helping encourage women to discuss the often taboo topic of miscarriage and stillbirth.
Chrissy shared another message about Jack on Twitter on Wednesday.
"My little Jack would have been born this week so I'm a bit off. I truly feel kicks in my belly, but it's not phantom. I have surgery for endometriosis tomorrow ... but the period feeling this month is exactly like baby kicks."
Where to get help:
• For support for bereaved parents visit sands.org.nz
• 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7)
• YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633
• NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7)
• KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757 or TEXT 4202
• NATIONAL ANXIETY 24 HR HELPLINE: 0800 269 4389