"We had no choice. Imagine if someone said, 'pack your bags and go to this country to live'. We had survivor guilt - we left our family and people who needed our help. But the hardest thing of my life was finding out that after seven years of study and 10 years as a doctor, my qualification was not recognised in New Zealand. I went through an identity crisis - I didn't know who I was any more. However, I was lucky enough to find good people who guided me in changing the pathway I was so passionate about." Saeid retrained as a counsellor and has worked with RASNZ since 2006 as an advocate counsellor and a family services coordinator. She regained her identity by helping other people with a refugee background and following her belief in giving back.
General courtesy rules when dealing with people from different cultures, said Saeid, treat people as you want to be treated and if you're not sure what to do, just ask them. Specifically when interacting with the Muslim culture though, she said it's helpful to remember when greeting strangers that personal contact with the same gender is OK, but across genders is a no-go zone. In the case of a handshake, Saeid says the golden rule is to let the woman offer her hand first if she wants a handshake but, if she doesn't, keep a safe distance. "It's also important to be aware that Muslims don't drink alcohol and they usually eat halal meat."
Saeid explained that the five pillars of Islam are belief, prayer, fasting, charity and pilgrimage, but it is important to understand that people who follow Islam are not a homogeneous group.
"How they apply Islam into their life depends on their ethnic background and education. They can be as liberal or as restricted as they want."
Something for employers to be sensitive to is the Muslim ritual of praying five times a day. Saeid says this may impact their workday, "but probably only 5-10 minutes at lunchtime and in the early afternoon. Employers should also be aware that Muslims will have nothing to eat or drink at work during their fasting month each year."
Saeid runs a women's group for former refugees and says the challenges faced in the first few years are leaving loved ones behind, financial difficulties, being in an unfamiliar environment and not having the language skills to ask for information. Five to 10 years after arriving in New Zealand, the challenges have changed.
"Women want to learn an advanced level of English so they can work and contribute to the economy," said Saeid.
Saeid says it helps to remember that former refugees are just ordinary people who have gone through extraordinary circumstances.
"And all of us, if we work together, can make a difference."