The biz: Let them eat ferns

Industry New Zealand's decision to spend taxpayers' money on developing non-toxic body paint for Maori performing artists has one irate taxpayer doing his own war dance.

The $4500 grant to help pay for Auckland University research into alternative dyes was just one of the projects in INZ's latest newsletter which got, umm ... , under the skin of a Biz informant.

The Foundation for Research, Science and Technology offshoot is also spending $500,000 on investigating new industrial uses for titi (muttonbird) oil, the development of fabric and other natural products from harakeke (flax), the commercial propagation of pikopiko (edible fern), the feasibility of mussel spat catching in Whangape Harbour, and the development of technologies supporting eel aquaculture.

"I hope the developers of edible ferns are made to eat lots of their products," our whistleblower grumbles in a letter to politically incorrect Act MP Rodney Hide, who he hopes will jump on the bandwagon.

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It's nice to be noticed, but does every plaudit for New Zealand have to come with a sheep reference?

"In a year of global stock declines, sheep-herding New Zealand has been a place to make money," said the money section of the CNN website.

"Despite the turmoil on Wall Street and its reverberations across the globe, the equity market in New Zealand - better known for its sheep than for bulls and bears - has stood strong and resilient."

The article suggested battered US investors might want to think about "an investing lift from down under".

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A few good ocker blokes must have almost choked on their beer when they heard of Shane Warne's move to launch his own line of wines.

But cricket's colourful spinner is on to a good business proposition, says one Melbourne lawyer who specialises in the wine industry.

"It's a very competitive market but other prominent labels have done well by taking a A$12 wine and packaging it as something more expensive," James Ormond said.

Novice drinkers would say: 'If it's good enough for Warney, it's good enough for me'."

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It's hard to imagine a more striking lifestyle change than ihug co-founder Nick Wood's decision to trade the hustle and bustle of an Auckland ISP for the more tranquil job of running his Fiji retreat, Octopus Resort.

Wood says he will spend much of the next six months in Fiji, leaving brother Tim in the role of ihug sales and marketing manager.

From a trawl through Octopus' website it's easy to see the attraction: " ... no TV, no cellphones or switchboards ... ," it taunts.

And even better: " ... no meetings, mothers-in-law, or bank managers."

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Presuming the scanned newspaper advert doing the email rounds is authentic, a highly experienced ex-con is looking for a new job.

The self-proclaimed "former marijuana smuggler" took a large ad in the employment wanted section of Toronto's Financial Post.

"Having successfully completed a 10-year sentence, incident-free, for importing 75 tons of marijuana into the United States, I am now seeking a legal and legitimate means to support myself and my family," the ad began.

It went on to list the person's business experience and attributes - running land, sea and air vehicle fleets, executive-level management of 120 staff worldwide in a smuggling venture with revenue of more than US$100 million ($209.1 million) and an expertise in security.

"References available from friends, family, the US District Attorney, etc," the ad concluded.

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