It's safe to say I'd be entirely unelectable as Prime Minister.
I know, for example, that I couldn't pretend a cheese roll is some kind of culinary delight every time I visited the bottom half of the South Island.
It is a piece of partially toasted, cheap white bread, rolled up with some cheese and processed onion dip in it.
It might be tasty at the end of a drunken bender, but only if there's no option to make a proper toasted cheese sandwich – which isn't that hard.
So that's nearly 10 per cent of voters alienated.
I could work my way around the country on a tour of alienation, but I don't need to.
The fact I still support a capital gains tax (CGT) will do the job.
When it comes to fiscal policy I want taxes that encourage capital to flow to the most productive places in the economy.
I'm not sure if that makes me left wing or right wing.
I'd be comfortable with CGT revenue going towards tax cuts for business, to create skilled jobs - especially if they targeted investment in technology or smart environmentally focused areas.
But I'm also comfortable with social investment. How about a big boost for early childhood education to lift literacy and numeracy levels for our poorest kids?
Both of these things are examples of policies the Prime Minister describes as "double-duty".
That means policy that achieves two goals at once – e.g. stimulates short-term growth by creating jobs but adding long-term value to the economy.
Another obvious example is investment infrastructure like roads and rail.
I'm in favour of that too.
I'm not in favour of the term "double-duty" though. It sounds like jargon to me so I'm going to call them "win-win" policies.
Not that I need to sell policy ideas or launch a new political party. As I've already mentioned, I'd be unelectable.
But I have written lately about our failure to embrace big, bold policy changes when the economy was strong.
That's prompted some readers to write and ask: what would you do then?
It's easy to point out problems. Solutions are harder.
The first thing I'd do is admit I'm no expert. Although I am in favour of experts.
Call me elitist if you like, but I find experts generally more useful than populists in a tight situation.
If I need heart surgery I'll take an expert.
If you've got an elite surgeon, all the better thanks.
So I'd promise a government that listens to experts – a wide range of them.
I'm aware that there are differing opinions among experts.
The job of the government is to sift through them and make sensible choices that reflect the values of the democratic majority.
The Government played it that way during this pandemic and has been rewarded for it.
On the whole, our politicians are not too bad at that – especially compared to places like the US right now.
But that's a low bar and populism is creeping in.
It's evident in the tax policies of both major parties.
Just about only thing differentiating them as Left and Right are Labour's top-bracket tax hike and National's temporary tax cut.
Both policies are pointlessly symbolic nods to middle New Zealand.
What do I know about getting elected though - I'm no expert.
I am for a Green revolution: saving the environment, reducing carbon emissions and pushing along new high-tech, future-focused industries.
On that basis, I'd loosen rules on genetic modification and let our scientists get on with producing grass that doesn't make cows burp.
That's actually is an Act policy. But I'd throw it together with the Greens' call to arms on electrification.
Banning new petrol cars after 2030 is not a radical policy, it's broadly in line with plans in Europe and California.
This country produces cheap renewable power and has the potential to produce much more.
We should be at the forefront of the coming electric revolution - and we should make money from it.
I'd back cannabis legalisation too, even though I agree with conservatives that Pink Floyd is over-rated.
There are good social and health-based reasons to support it.
But for this column let's just concentrate on the economic benefits.
There's huge potential for industry growth and new jobs.
Then there's the estimated tax windfall - nearly half a billion a year according to the NZIER.
I like the economics of investing more in our children - education, health and social welfare - which leans to the left.
But I'm not averse to funding some of that by selling down assets.
Let's have mixed-model ownership to turbocharge KiwiBank and take on the Aussie banks.
The power companies have been a massive success story and our 51 per cent stake would quickly be worth double what 100 per cent is now.
I like the idea of public-private partnerships to get things built and don't object to inviting in more foreign capital.
And I like still like immigration (when we can get back to it) as a way to keep moving this country forward, adding skills and dealing with issues like our ageing population.
Of course, one of the great side effects of that has been steady improvement of New Zealand's culinary offerings.
On that note, I'll get my coat ... don't vote for me.