It's personal: I think it's safe to assume Piers Morgan won't be front-row-and-centre and giving Madonna all his luvin' when she goes on tour this year.

The CNN talk-show host has been feuding with the Girl Gone Wild singer for years, branding her "boring," "irritating," "ghastly," "gruesome" and "grotesque".

And those are just the compliments.

But the verbal sparring is decidedly one-sided. Her Madgesty maintains that "she doesn't even know who he is". More on that later.


He most recently ripped into Madge during a confab with Britain's Mirror newspaper, while also dispensing with a few verbal daggers for "vile little creature" Kate Moss.

What's his beef with Moss? She's "utterly horrific," apparently. "If people actually knew what she was like, they would never, ever be interested in her again."

He continued: "She's just a real, spoilt little madam from Croydon. There's nothing wrong with Croydon - I was brought up near Croydon. But she's just a vile little creature."

I digress.

Morgan also reinforced his hatred for Madonna during the interview.

"She's a complete con artist and those arms are just terrifying," he said.

"It's like watching Conan the Barbarian. She's looking even more barbaric than ever at the moment, utterly grotesque."

The prickly newsman also poked fun at the singer's "gruesome" performance during the Super Bowl halftime show.

"That Super Bowl performance, it was like watching your mad drunken aunt at Christmas," Morgan recently told Chelsea Handler.

"Is it just me? I keep reading all these celebrities tweeting, saying, 'Wasn't she awesome?' No, she wasn't. She was gruesome."

'We've never really seen eye-to-eye'

Morgan also boomed in January last year that he had banned Madge from his CNN show for life because she's been "an irritant in my life for 20 years."

Explaining why she wasn't welcome on his show, he said: "Madonna and I, we've never really seen eye-to-eye.

"There was a bread roll throwing incident in London in the mid '90s; there was an incident at a hotel in the south of France (at) the Cannes Film Festival involving a photographer and a bodyguard; there's been an incident involving a pub owned by her recently departed husband, Guy Ritchie, where my brother was the manager."

But is was a pregnancy that really ruffled Morgan's feathers.

"Madonna's publicist once said to me, 'Listen to me, Madonna is not pregnant,' when I was running a newspaper," he told Access Hollywood.

"And I said, 'Are you sure?' She said, 'Listen to me, Piers. Madonna is not pregnant.'

"The next day, they announced (the news) on a rival newspaper's website."

Morgan has since upped the ante and gone a step further, banning Madonna from ever appearing on any of his American and British shows.

Marking Madge's Twitter debut this week, he sniped: "Welcome to Twitter. You're still banned from my show. Love Piers x."

The singer had joined the social networking site for one day only to promote her latest album, MDNA.

Her manager Guy Oseary tweeted back, "Really?" and attached a copy of an interview request for Madge to appear on the British version of Morgan's talk show.

The letter, from October 21, 2011, said Morgan is "delighted to invite Madonna to be a special guest for his LA recording of his UK chat show - where she would be welcome to promote her new film and forthcoming album release (and perform two numbers)."

That's a little awkward.

Morgan responded, "Madonna has only been banned from my CNN show, not my UK show, which sent that invite."

He then added: "Oh, and I'm afraid you're banned from all my shows too @guyoseary - guilt by association, sorry.

"I wonder how many more years I can string out this 'MORGAN BANS MADONNA' story for.....#HardyPerennial."

According to TMZ, Madge is clueless as to what's irked Morgan. A source said: "She doesn't even know who he is."

Total tosh, he says.

"What's most amusing is Madonna claiming not to know who I am, while her manager's busy tweeting me. Make your minds up, dearies," he tweeted.

"Although perhaps even more amusing is the phalanx of slightly mad Madonna fans who pop up to abuse me every time the ban story runs again."

Check out Madge's Girl Gone Wild video below (NSFW):

And while you're down here, read Scott Kara's review of MDNA.

* Tell me, readers: What do you think of Morgan's beef with Madonna? And what's your take on her new album?

- Blogger Bites Back