Steve Braunias' secret horoscopes for 2016

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The Tutukaka Coast's nice if you're heading north on an epic road trip. Photo / NZME
The Tutukaka Coast's nice if you're heading north on an epic road trip. Photo / NZME

PART 2

Part 1 click here

CANCER (June 22-July 23)

Fight, or flight? A gilded cage in Herne Bay, or a Blockhouse Bay rental? 2016 is all about dualities and dichotomies. Save yourself time and realise there's no single way of doing things. A new relationship means business. Merge. You'll throw yourself into outdoor pursuits in autumn, and regret it at spring. Winter's pretty sweet though. Read the Herald from cover to cover and look for omens, secret messages, clues. Or just do the crossword. Language is a code; you need to crack it, and find out what people are really saying behind your back. Use the heavy criticism to your advantage.

LEO (July 24-August 22)

People are on your wavelength more than usual. The new you is all about clarity, transparency, and easy-to-follow bullet points.

Entering into a new living situation? Find out where you're going before you get there. Invest in time-saving appliances. There are good deals at Noel Leeming. By October, a simmering feud in the office will spill over; make sure it's not you who gets burned. Delete emails, deactivate social media accounts, let all calls go through to voice message. Spent more time at the City Art Gallery. It's boring, but in a good way.

VIRGO (August 23-September 22)

There's no rush to go on holiday. How about first-thing tomorrow? Head north on an epic road trip - Tutukaka's nice, but there's no shame in settling for Takapuna. Return to work with a sense of purpose. It's all about making competitors look lame, which shouldn't be too hard. Your currency is ideas. Most people don't have any but you've got buckets. Retail therapy is better than some counsellor with bad breath. When you open the front door, you'll be greeted with a warm current of love, and possibly a hot meal. Take it easy; those who you love, love you.

LIBRA (September 23-October 23)

The Moon-Saturn opposition in your 2016 chart guarantees excellent returns on your gambling dollar. A flutter a day can't hurt. Career progress this year is a rollercoaster. Do you have employment insurance? If there's a criminal matter, try and engage the services of lawyer Ron Mansfield. He's very good. Spend time at The Green Dolphin secondhand bookstore in K Rd. A precious jewel awaits. Political ambitions become increasingly important. Divide and rule. Love comes to town wearing big shoes; lie down, and accept that you're a doormat. The ego must be killed for romance to flourish. Circle this date: June 31.

SCORPIO (October 24-November 22)

The year may start slowly with Mars (your ruling planet) chilling until May. After that, it's all on for young and old, especially the old. Is that amazing Epsom castle, the 19th century thing with turrets and goodness knows what else, still for sale? The CV is $5.2 million, and it's got you written all over it. A small dose of faith will go far at crucial times. A large dose will elevate you to a position you didn't think possible. The rational mind is a drag; trust in religious manias, respect superstitions. Learn a foreign language, such as Scottish.

SAGITTARIUS (November 23-December 22)

Astrologer Jonathan Cainer wrote last year: "All Sagittarians are philosophers. You know that. Hasn't your long education at the School of Hard Knocks left you nothing if not philosophical? And in 2015, you're going to do the one thing all Sagittarians were born to do. You're going to bounce right back to where you belong." How'd that work for you? Nonsense, right? Whatever he says for 2016, do the opposite. Market indicators point towards an improvement in cash flows midway through 2016-17. That's a long wait. Twiddle your thumbs in Parnell, and avoid Ponsonby.

- NZ Herald

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