How do you translate Donald Trump into Dutch?
A satirist from the Netherlands offers this answer: a video using Trump's own words to "welcome" him to the country.
Zondag Met Lubach, the country's news satire show, has released a fake tourism video "introducing" Trump to their "tiny country" using the bombastic language the US President loves so much. "It's gonna be a great video," host Arjen Lubach promises.
As bucolic shots of windmills and canals flash on screen, a narrator speaks of the Netherlands' language ("We've got the best words. All the other languages failed."); Ponypark Slagharen ("You can grab them by the pony") and Afsluitdijk, a "wall" built to keep out the "water from Mexico" (AKA the ocean).
Also on offer: a history of William of Orange, who defeated the "scumbag" "loser" Spanish. A note about Madurodam, a miniature village where the "squares are so small, you don't need many people to fill them". And Black Pete, "the most offensive, most racist thing you've ever seen. You'll love it. It's great."
The video ends with a semi-serious plea. As the host notes, "if you screw Nato, you're gonna make our problems great again". So, it asks, "if you have to keep America first, could you keep the Netherlands second?"