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Vast tracts of Australian wasteland are not normally the stuff of Christmas carols, but they are ideal for the romance and old-school ease of rail travel.
And once a year, Santa sees the appeal of leaving the reindeer at home and takes his overdressed self into the Australian
desert on the epic four-day Indian Pacific rail journey between Sydney and Perth. He takes a giant sack of lollies and gifts of course, and a well-known Australian entertainer - a different one each year. They stop at some of the small communities along the route to perform short Christmas concerts for the children.
When this year's Christmas train pulled out of Sydney's Central station last week, the man in red had Australian swing singer David Campbell and his band with him on a packed train that stretched several hundred metres along the track.
The Indian Pacific is rapidly becoming known as one of the world's great train journeys, taking in the twin Australian natural wonders - the Blue Mountains and the Nullarbor Plain.
And although for us the pesky cloud was shrouding what were usually spectacular views through the mountains as the sun set, you could see enough of the rugged cliff-scapes to appreciate what might have been.
Once through the mountains it was time for a short stop in the motor-racing mecca of Bathurst, where the schoolkids scream like Beatles fans for Campbell - son of rock legend Jimmy Barnes.
He's a hit and it takes the distraction of Santa and his bag of lollies to break up the crowd enough to get everyone back on the train.
Although we all know Australia is quite big, it's only when you travel by land that you really start to appreciate the scale of it - and how sparsely populated large parts of it are.
For Kiwis, used to getting anywhere in New Zealand within a fairly short time, the idea that your train can wind right through the night before reaching the next major settlement - this time the silver-mining town of Broken Hill - takes some mental adjustment.
It's really just the beginning. When you really reach the backblocks, crossing the Nullarbor Plain, you start to wonder if you've landed on another planet. But that wonder is still more than a day away. On the way into Broken Hill we pass the unintentionally funny Broken Hill Sailing Club, situated by a vast expanse of nothing at all. A local joke surely? But no, the clubhouse once sat next to Menindee Lakes - a vast water catchment system now dry after years of drought. It's a sobering insight into the Australian water shortage.
For now it's a quick look around Broken Hill as Santa and Campbell woo the kids with another round of Santa Claus is Coming to Town.
The town is surprisingly pretty, surrounded by silver mines and a harsh but compelling desert landscape. Once you see the quaint buildings and quintessentially Australian geography it's not surprising to learn it has been the setting for many Australian films - Priscilla Queen of the Desert and Mad Max among them.
Now it's full steam ahead for Adelaide, through the sprawling countryside, scattered with emu and kangaroos, under a clear arc of blue sky that seems so familiar from every picture of the Australian Outback you've ever seen. As we approach the city the random weather that has marked the trip so far follows us and by the time we arrive the temperatures are hovering around 40C. For this Christmas concert, the carols are sung against the backdrop of a black, angry sky and then wind and rain.
Still, with Menindee Lakes fresh in the mind, if there's one thing you don't do in Australia it's complain about rain.
Despite our ill luck with the weather, Adelaide is the perfect spot to break our train journey, with four days of straight travel seeming a little much.
Even if you are travelling straight through to Perth, the Indian Pacific generally has a stop of three and a half hours so there's time to see a little bit of this pretty riverside City of Churches. And if you're staying longer be sure to venture further out to the famous Barossa Valley wine region.
The trip to this point has certainly had its share of spectacular scenery but it's hard not to see the stage from Adelaide to Perth, through Cook and Kalgoorlie, as the highlight.
You enter the Nullarbor Plain at breakfast time on the third day, and by dinner - having travelled all day at about the same speed as a car on the open road - the plain still stretches all around you as far as the eye can see.
It's then you get some idea of the immense scale of it.
In Latin, Nullarbor means "no trees", and the Aboriginal name for the area is Oondiri, meaning "waterless" - both major clues as to the nature of the landscape.
It's a golden wasteland, covered in a tussock carpet. Watching it go by your train window for hours should be quite dull, but somehow it's not. There are subtle changes in light and landscape as the kilometres tick by, there are Australian wedgetail eagles to spot, and wild camels to try to spot as they hunker down in the fierce heat.
It all becomes quite hypnotic and is bleakly beautiful. But whether you'd fall in love with it enough to move to Cook, the only thing resembling a settlement on the plain, is doubtful.
Cook, once a thriving small community, is now essentially a ghost town, population somewhere between one and four depending on which day you visit.
There's a shop that opens only when passengers are passing through, and there's sleeping quarters for the train crew who change here. This is the one stop on this Christmas train that Santa and the travelling troubadours don't play a show - mostly because there's no audience except the passengers, and they've already seen it.
Mostly, Cook is the absence of a town - and yet, like so much of this apparently barren landscape, it's fertile enough to keep you wandering around it open-mouthed (watch the flies) at the idea of living there in such total isolation.
Several hours later, as the sun sets on the last evening of the trip, the Indian Pacific pulls into Kalgoorlie.
Here again, on a regular Indian Pacific journey, passengers have a break of several hours to make a quick tour of the town's highlights.
Kalgoorlie has a rough reputation built on its mining heart, as infamous for its healthy brothel business as the gold that supports it. But the town is enjoying something of a boom. It has an affluent feel, and the main streets are lined with heritage-style buildings.
It's also Santa's biggest audience so far on this trip, and crowds of children and parents sing along with Campbell and his band, mingling with the hundreds of train passengers giving their legs one final stretch before the overnight ride into Perth.
* Kerri Jackson travelled the Indian Pacific as a guest of Great Southern Rail.
- Detours, HoS
