A crewmember cuts of the sails after Team New Zealands mast snapped during their fourth race against Alinghi. Photo / Glenn Jeffrey
India may be the most powerful cricketing nation politically but the simpering whimper that was their effort in the third test against Australia led sports editor Paul Lewis to think about other great sporting capitulations.
1) "This ******* boat"; America's Cup 2003
It was the time when the architects ran away with the asylum. The design features inherent in NZL82 in the 2003 America's Cup were ground-breaking - and yacht-breaking. Team New Zealand lost the Cup 5-0 to challengers Alinghi in a horrendous whitewash.
In race one, Team NZ withdrew due to multiple gear failures in the rigging and the cockpit unexpectedly shipping large quantities of water.
Race two was a beauty - but Alinghi won by seven seconds and won the third after correctly picking a windshift. Race four was sailed in high winds and rough seas and NZL 82's mast snapped, leaving the big yacht wallowing like a pig. Race five was lost when a spinnaker pole snapped.
Through it all, the crew's frustration with their yacht became clearer, climaxing with an unidentified voice saying, after the mast snapped in race four: "This f****** boat." Amen. Still, it wasn't as bad as the 1995 Cup when One Australia actually sank.
2) There's only 18 million watching; world snooker final 1985
It was the 1985 world snooker championships and the big star of the time, Steve Davis, was leading Dennis Taylor 8-0 in the final; the winner being the first to win 18 frames. Taylor was being whitewashed by Davis, who already had three world championships (he won six in all) behind him and whowas playing with a clinical efficiency. But, after trailing 8-0, Taylor recovered to 9-7 and then took the match to 17-17. In the final frame, the play famously came downto the final black ball, which Taylor sank with 18 million people watching live (after a miss by
Davis) to clinch the title.
Davis was later on the right side of a capitulation when he beat John Parrott 18-3 in the modern era's biggest world championship margin.
Davis said of his defeat by Taylor: "Dennis was in pieces. He was just embarrassed to be there. But it was a bit like a long-distance runner who's that far ahead, you've got no direction any more because you've got no competition. I lost the next frame and the next minute, Dennis started coming back and won seven out of the next nine. Overnight I felt as if I'd failed, even though I was 9-7 in front. To steal a line from Colin Powell during the Iraq war, I slept like a baby because I woke up screaming every hour. The next day, it was a scramble to the line. It went down to the black in the deciding frame and when Dennis potted it, my first feeling was relief, I couldn't do any more . . . then deflation set in. My world seemed to have collapsed."
3) The perfect storm; Manly 40 Melbourne 0, 2008 NRL grand final
It was - and is - the biggest grand final defeat in NRL history. It was also the first shut-out in a final for 30 years. This was a capitulation with a capital C by a Melbourne Storm side who looked rather more like a Melbourne Isolated Shower than the storming club they had become. Manly led 8-0 at halftime but the Storm, missing suspended skipper Cameron Smith and international back rower Ryan Hoffman, fell apart after halftime as Manly's ruthless metre-eating and efficient finishing of their six-tackle sets left the Storm with nowhere to hide. It was all over after 50 minutes.
Unknown winger Michael Robertson scored a hat-trick and the match was the perfect send-off for one of league's most revered players - Steve Menzies, the second-highest try scorer in the history of the game and who dotted down himself (his 180th try in 349premier appearances) before heading off to England.
4) Australia all out for 47, vs South Africa 2011
Forgive the strong element of schadenfreude here but, for most on-Australians, the sight of the Baggy Greens looking Badly Green after being dismissed for 47 is like a shot of adrenalin to the cerebral cortex. Australia batted first and scored 284, with captain Michael Clarke playingan astonishing knock for 151. They then dismissed South Africa for a paltry 96 on a pitch which offered movement-but not remarkably so.
Still, Australia psyches had been damaged beneath the baggy green caps and Ricky Ponting, Mike Hussey, Brad Haddin and Shaun Marsh all went for ducks as an amazing succession of Australian wickets fell to poor shots.
South African fast bowler Vernon Philander took five for 15 off seven overs to head the plunder and that surging sound as the Australians fell for 47 wasn't the waves crashing along the Cape Town coast-it was waves of laughter from non-Australians everywhere. South Africa then comfortably knocked off the 236 runs required for an eightwicket victory. It was Australia's lowest test score since they made 36 against England in 1902.
5) Lest we forget; New Zealand all out for 26, vs England 1955
It took Australia's last pair, Peter Siddle and Nathan Lyons, to steer Australia precariously past the record lowest test score ever which belongs to, ahem, us. After scoring a modest 200 runs in their first innings, New Zealand dismissed England for 246. But they slumped to 26 all out in 27 overs; only opener Bert Sutcliffe reached double figures, scoring 11 runs, with five other batsmen recording ducks and English fast
bowler Bob Appleyard taking four wickets for seven runs off six overs.
6) Take that, and that,and . . . oh; Mikael Pernfors vs Jimmy Connors, Wimbledon 1987
The 24-year-old Swede was 6-1 6-1 4-1 up against a 34-year-old, ailing Connors carrying a leg injury. Most would have bet the mortgage on a Swedish win. But, while Jana Novotna's meltdown against Steffi Graf at Wimbledon in 1993 (and subsequent weeping on the shoulder of the Duchess of Kent), is more famously remembered, this remains among Wimbledon's greatest capitulations. "I had to do something," Connors said later, "my ego was hurt." Connors pulled back the third set 7-5 but Pernfors led again 3-0 in the fourth before Connors reeled off 12 games straight to claim the win, with Pernfors barely able to keep the ball inside the court.
7) So should we buy some players then? Manchester United 8 Arsenal 2, 2011
So bad were Arsenal in this Premiership fixture that it even forced stubborn manager Arsene Wenger to let the moths fly out of his purse as he opened it in search of funds to find footballers who might actually help Arsenal compete. To the sounds of ringing laughter from Spurs fans everywhere, Arsenal were "unbelievably embarrassing, a disgrace to the shirt"(the Daily Telegraph). "This was like watching the Tower of London being bulldozed to make way for a new Tesco" (The Guardian). Wayne Rooney scored a hat-trick and he and Ashley Young toyed with Arsenal in their biggest defeat since 1896. Still, it had an effect. Wenger was moved to buy new blood. Finally.
8) France capitulates, All Blacks beware; All Blacks 54 France 7, 1999
It was 30-0 at halftime as the dominant All Blacks spanked a young French side in what was then France's heaviest loss ever. Wingers Tana Umaga and Christian Cullen and halfback Justin Marshall scored all seven tries among them as France sank almost without trace, with replacement hooker Jean- acques Crenca sent off for a stomping offence five minutes from the end.
"I must say we were outplayed in the second half by what I think will be an unbeatable team in 1999," French coach Jean-Claude Skrela said. "I will be surprised if the All Blacks will be beaten this year." Which was a Very Good Joke as it was the French who turned round later that year and inflicted a punishing 43-31 victory as the All Blacks capitulated in their 1999 Rugby World Cup semifinal after leading 24-10. We didn't learn our lesson either. In 2007, another French surrender was completed - the All Blacks winning 61-10 against a vapid France - before that quarter final in Cardiff in the 2007 Rugby World Cup. Good job we didn't thrash 'em in 2011.
9) From capitulation to Cup; Australia 76 England 0, 1998
They were very young, very ordinary and very beaten. England's young team, coached by Clive Woodward, fell foul of a rampant 14-try Australia in the "Tour of Hell" in 1998 when they were shorn of many leading players. In a test where the old saying "lucky to get the nil" was dusted off again, England nonetheless counted this test match as a vital component of their march to a Rugby World Cup victory in 2003 where, in the final, they beat Australia.
10) I'll play you withmy bare hands; Goran Ivanisevic vs HT Lee (Korea), 2000
It wasn't a grand slam event but when an angry Goran Ivanisevic - wasn't he always? - slammed and broke his third racquet in a wilful, violent display of self-loathing in Brighton in 2000, he put himself in an interesting position.
The volatile Croatian did not have any more racquets in his bag and he was forced to capitulate because of, as tennis authorities of the day put it, "a lack of appropriate equipment".
The match was abandoned with Lee declared the winner and a portly female official carried off Ivanisevic's three busted racquets in a plastic bucket. Ivanisevic, a year later, became the only man to win Wimbledon as a wild card, and was indeed a wild child.
Against Lee, he would not borrow a racquet because he used only the Head brand. Could say he lost his head.
OPINION: Sport, with its fine margins such as this, can be beautiful and brutal.