Andrew: What happened? Why didn't we beat the English? I haven't slept since Wednesday morning thinking about this and we don't play until tonight. I can't believe this and I find it hard to deal with it all when Brendon McCullum wasn't as contrite as I'd like him to be in such a heavy defeat. Sure, he said he got it wrong from when they won the toss, but Daniel Vettori's wonderful and predictable 1-41 off 10 overs was sorely missed.
Mark: He said he got it wrong at the toss, what more do you want? Should he have phoned 0800 825 577 and personally apologised to you? He's a leader! He has to show his charges it was a flush-the-dunny moment, that they are better than that and to only focus on the next game. Dwelling is for us, and our levelheaded listeners, to do. You're right, though, about Vettori. Wicket strike rates are the new economy rates in one-day cricket, but you can never underestimate the value of a steady 10 in the middle. I like that Mitchell Santner, though. He lacks the sixth sense that Vettori had, but he's certainly got all the skills needed to succeed at the top level. Patience and belief, Andrew.
Andrew: I do call that number but all I get is those two eggs off TV. You know the ones, the guy from the renovation show and the US sport lover. Anyway, please ring me, Brendon. I need reassurance. I also need to be reassured that this transitional phase that we're stealthily entering is okay because the likes of Santner, Ben Wheeler and the long road of development of Tom Latham and Hamish Rutherford seem like the future but I need results now. Thankfully it will be led ably by cyborg Kane Williamson. Speaking of the future, I'd like to take this opportunity to pump the wheels of our world champion Under-18 3-on-3 basketball team. They beat Russia, Spain and Argentina in the final this week. Those are some heavyweights of the basketball world and while the USA could send 20 teams that would probably win, it does mean the future of the New Zealand game is in great health. What won't be pretty is the prospect of facing the NBA-laden Australians in a two-test Oceania qualification series later this year to see who goes to next year's Olympics. Let's head to rugby before they realise what I've gone and typed here.
Mark: Yeah, I can't wait for the U14, 4-on-4, T20 tipney-run cricket tournament. That will really identify just where we are headed in cricket. Rugby! Good save, we were losing rating points there for a minute. Fekitoa is out so that's a good thing as he's injured/resting for the international season. It's him and Smith in the centre jersey and we all know Smith is number one but will we find out this weekend who's number one at No12? Gee I hope we see Ma'a and SBW going at it. Sure you don't need them going at each other to decide who's best, but boy I love a local derby within a local derby.
Andrew: You already have that tournament in the ICC T20 World Cup, Mark. There is no question Ma'a Nonu is the No1 12 in New Zealand right now and probably the best player in that position globally (he says as he adjusts his NZ rugby eyepatch) so whatever happens from this weekend on will determine which fringe All Blacks will be putting their hands up when the pressure is on. It will be the All Blacks numbered 32 through to 41 on the selector's note pad that will be under the most scrutiny. James Broadhurst, Jeremy Thrush and Ardie Savea from the Hurricanes. Props like Josh Hohneck, Nepo Laulala and Reg Goodes. Who's the third hooker with Nathan Harris still rehabbing? Lima Sopoaga from the Highlanders and Charlie Ngatai and Brad Webber from the Chiefs, among others, have all played really well and are healthy. Will specialists be selected or will there be a utility feel about these selections? These are the ones that can cement their places with decision-making and accuracy. Yours please.
Mark: Yeah, that is the issue isn't it? To utility or to not utility. To tell you the truth, All Blacks 32 through 41 will probably be specialists. You are talking halfback No3, hooker No3, Sam Cane's cover and a lock. These will be the players they will want to be No1s in five years. Players 20 to 32 are the utilities. They need utilities now and know who they are but if you are going to be No 1 forever your number ones must become number threes now. Bloody hell, now I'm just confused. Cricket is so much simpler. I was No1 every time. Easy.
Pros & cons
Should the courts just leave Lance Armstrong alone?
Mark: I'm with you Lance.
Gee-whiz, could everyone just calm down?
You didn't kill anyone, you're not going to kill anyone, and you are not a risk to public safety.
That's all eh, just cheated and you've been caught.
What good is there in carrying on with this witch-hunt?
Did you defraud anyone?
Okay, yes, you are a fraudster, but really those companies should have done their due diligence on you, and anyway drugs or no drugs they paid for a winner, got a winner and made the money they paid for.
Are THEY handing any back? No, so why should you.
And it's not like your foundation did a Fifa on the charity it raised.
Your cheating actually helped many people.
Cycling needs you Lance because you know how to get things done.
Andrew: Lance, you have not satisfied the court of public opinion and when the sporting masses decide you are not one of sports' biggest villains you can go free with a clearer conscience than you already seem to have.
But you have not satisfied the public.
They don't want to know about you flitting between your luxury houses, they want to hear how you have to pay back sponsorship and endorsement money related to your inglorious glory years.
Your comment in the Telegraph this week - "After a federal investigation, a criminal investigation, a civil investigation, a US federal agency, the threat of perjury and jail, an anti-doping agency threatening lifetime bans, books ... We have got it all. Trust me, it's all there" - is well and truly undone by the two words of "trust me".
They want a conclusion and that is to see you fall further, they want to see more contriteness, more humility.
It's not in your DNA, that's for sure, but coming clean to Oprah Winfrey wasn't the beginning of the end, it was just the beginning.