Olympic swimmer Trent Bray wept as he told of his battle to clear his name, tarnished after a positive test for a banned steroid.
On TVNZ's 60 Minutes last night, he choked on his words as he talked about the effect on his family of allegations that he took nandrolone.
"I'd never
do anything to hurt them ... nothing like this. I want my name cleared because I know I have not done anything."
Bray's appeal against the positive test was upheld this month by a district court judge in a ruling which the New Zealand Sports Drug Agency appealed against on Friday.
The judge ruled that containers used in the testing were incorrect and that it took too long for the sample to be tested in Sydney.
"I did not even know what it [nandrolone] was until this came up," said Bray. "As soon as they said anabolic steroid, it just blew me away."
He had spent about $40,000 on testing vitamins and painkillers to account for the positive test, and believed there were three possible explanations: his body had produced nandrolone naturally; the time taken for his sample to be tested; and a fruit drink he had after training at the Mt Roskill pool.
"It [the drink] is no longer made and we cannot get hold of the substance. I am not saying it came from there, but I wanted to rule it out."
Bray felt abandoned by Swimming New Zealand, which had not publicly endorsed his reputation.
But spokesman Phil Pritchard said Swimming NZ had ensured Bray had been "coached and managed" throughout a process that had been difficult for both parties.
