Eddie Jones, coach of the Wallabies, has a lot to juggle. Photo / Photosport
OPINION
After the Wallabies lost to Wales, confirming their earliest exit from the Rugby World Cup, Angus Morrison pens a letter to Australian coach Eddie Jones
Dear Eddie,
It’s been a while since I wrote. About 12 months. I suggested that you were flushing English rugby down the toilet, but you didn’t reply. Possibly because I signed it off with “great job, Agent Jones – keep up the good work”.
But what you’ve done to Australian rugby in such a short time needs addressing.
You’ve turned our Auld Enemy into a laughing stock. And while it was funny to watch for a few games, rugby is a better sport with the Wallabies at the top table. Not scrabbling around under the furniture, bumping into chairs and hoping someone accidentally drops a profiterole.
You’ve lost seven of your first eight games in charge. You’ve lost to Fiji. You’ve lost heavily to Wales, which has been a tough thing to do in recent years. Very few teams have managed it. It was embarrassing to watch, and I’m not Australian. You said before the match, “I have absolutely no doubt we’ll win.” What planet are you currently residing on?
Your Wallabies have been knocked out of the World Cup pool stages for the first time in history, despite being on the ridiculously easy side of the draw. You picked a bunch of kids and they (spoiler alert) played like a bunch of kids. And you’re too arrogant to see the damage you’re doing.
You think dropping a player like Michael Hooper is looking to the future. Australian rugby won’t have a future if hundreds of talented young rugby players opt for league instead because of the absolute shower they were forced to watch in France.
The Bledisloe Cup is now the equivalent of an annual golf series between the United States and a team of blind blokes with no arms and no sense of direction. Australia last won the Bledisloe Cup TWENTY-ONE years ago. You should know, Eddie – you coached the team. But 21 years is a hell of a long time in rugby. Half your current World Cup squad were still learning how to walk back then, for a start.
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New Zealand sportingly tried to even things up by appointing Ian Foster as head coach, but even that didn’t work. The likes of John Eales, Tim Horan and David Campese are out there digging graves, just so they have something to spin in.
After the embarrassing Fiji loss, you said, “I take full responsibility.” That has to be the most pointless, patronising sentence since Winston Peters said… well, anything.
Because you don’t, do you, Eddie? How do you take responsibility? Did you drop yourself for the following game? No. Did someone else select the next team? No. Did you hand back your salary? No.
You keep saying you were brought in to “change Australian rugby”. I’m not sure this was what the bosses meant by “change”. I looked up “change” in the dictionary and the definition was not “completely f*** everything up”.
Explain the selection of 18-year-old Max Jorgensen to me. Were you trying to appear brave? Edgy? Innovative? If so, I have a simple question: Why didn’t you play him? If he’s good enough, he’s old enough. You said that yourself when you were asked to justify leaving experienced (better) players at home. Now he’s broken a leg, you at least have a reason for not playing him.
No offence to the kid, but what was the point of Jorgensen being at the World Cup? Is he doing a university thesis on the architecture of French hotels? Is he even old enough to be at university?
Remember saying this, Eddie? “Every pre-season testing in Formula 1 is a fresh start. New ideas, new cars, new drivers, new support staff. It’s the same for us.”
I’m not a massive Formula 1 fan, but I don’t remember any of the teams starting the season with a three-wheeled car, a Honda Civic engine and a 13-year-old driver with one leg shorter than the other.
In your defence, Australian rugby was seriously wounded before you arrived back on its shores, but surely some inspired and lengthy medical treatment from an experienced international coach – such as your good self – was needed?
But no. You decided to put a bullet in the back of its head.
Let’s just say your plan works. That your kindergarten class becomes a group of battle-hardened warriors who win the 2027 World Cup. Will it be worth it? Worth all the pain the Aussie fans are going through now and probably for another two years? I don’t think so.
And I don’t think you’re going to win the 2027 World Cup either.
Best wishes,
Angus Morrison
Angus Morrison is a Kiwi sport journalist working in Britain. He was a former sports editor at Wellington’s Evening Post newspaper.