KEY POINTS:
Marvellous news from England, where the champions haven't so much turned back the clock but launched a time machine to pick their World Cup squad.
Having won the Webb Ellis Trophy with Dad's Army in 2003, they are now going to defend it with the Last of the
Summer Wine. What a comedy.
England's usual suspects will include the statuesque - especially mobility-wise - Lawrence Dallaglio who will be a mere 35 at the time of the tournament. He is being hailed as a saviour despite not playing test footy for well over a year.
Scary, especially for his doctor.
The initial 47-man training squad includes Mike Catt (who would be 36 at the tournament), Mark Regan, 35, Julian White, Kevin Yates, Martin Corry, all 34, Jason Robinson, Andy Gomarsall, 33, Andy Farrell, 32, Ben Kay, Phil Vickery, 31, Josh Lewsey and Joe Worsley, 30. Not only that. Some of those blokes have had more operations than Zsa Zsa Gabor.
Brian Ashton, who might now rate as a caregiver rather than a caretaker coach, also has the 34-year-old lock Danny "GBH" Grewcock waiting in the wings if he beats his latest suspension for thuggery. Boy, what a gift to the sporting world Grewcock is and the World Cup just wouldn't be the same without him.
What a World Cup squad England will have.
Some of the characters bidding for this English front row were considered too slow for the last World Cup. And while most English backlines give rugby fans grey hairs, this one will sport them.
It has been clear for some time that the champs would have to lean on experience, but it's still a surprise these experiences include having been able to vote for Margaret Thatcher.
A word of clarification here. The final squad has yet to be chosen although the mood suggests that Ashton will use a last on - as in last to arrive on this planet - first off approach. In other words, babes-in-the-woods aged under 28 will get the chop.
All is not completely lost, though. England will have the odd sprightly character like the 29-year-old Lewis Moody to call upon.
The side who won the World Cup were a grand, once-in-a-lifetime unit who succeeded despite obvious deficiencies. England needed to start from scratch after 2003 but instead they have clung on, even resurrected, a decaying empire.
Dallaglio's selection is the most spectacular because he is being cast as the man to lead England out of the wilderness in a sort of Moses leading a bunch of Moses-types deal.
As far as can be made out from this distance, Dallaglio's inspirational first quarter against Bay of Plenty on the 2005 Lions tour helped swing the deal in many people's minds. And yes, a Bay of Plenty team rich in international class - remember, former All Black Adrian Cashmore had come back to play for them - was certainly dealt to for all of 20 minutes by the granite-jawed wonder. They still talk about it in this country, how the Lions would have swept the All Blacks in that series if Dallaglio hadn't broken his ankle. Yeah, right.
Without wanting to be seen giving the champs of the world any advice, it might be a tad dangerous relying on a two-year-old cameo when picking your team to defend the world crown. Then again, Jonny Wilkinson has been feted in England for winning the World Cup, and he only had about three decent minutes in the final.
If England want to turn up with a decrepit mob, then that's their business, although it's hardly a good look for the world event. Maybe they are chasing the grey dollar.
Anyone expecting an even remotely elegant English defence of the World Cup faces bitter disappointment, though. At least it will give us a good laugh and a bit of payback for the barbs that certain Brits, and one famous character in particular, are obsessed with sending our way.
England's World Cup campaign looks like a pension plan. Put it this way. If that lot win the World Cup, England can skip handing out any more of those MBEs and simply appoint them to the House of Lords.
