Stephen Perofeta's All Blacks debut lasted all of 50 seconds. Photo / Photosport
Stephen Perofeta's All Blacks debut lasted all of 50 seconds. Photo / Photosport
OPINION:
Spare a thought for Stephen Perofeta this weekend, a 50-second All Black who's played one test and never touched the ball.
Perofeta's ludicrous injection in the first test between the All Blacks and Argentina in Christchurch saw him arrive with 50 seconds to go – his All Black debutand a stark illustration of the way many of the new boys in this All Black squad have been squandered.
Perofeta had time to achieve precisely nothing. He ran onto the field, exchanged brief pleasantries with Jordie Barrett (whom he was replacing), and had a wonderful view of the Pumas winning the scrum and kicking the ball out to end the game.
If that wasn't bad enough, Beauden Barrett's back this week so Perofeta will presumably head back to The Room Of Gloom and Doom – the little-known repository for Ian Foster's All Blacks who are chosen but rarely played. He shares this space with several others, including Roger Tuivasa-Sheck, Folau Fakatava, Aidan Ross, Tupou Vaa'i, Dalton Papalii and Hoskins Sotutu.
The condition of entry to the Room Of Doom and Gloom is that all who dwell there must don a cloak of invisibility, making them unable to be seen by rugby fans, most of whom had forgotten they existed anyway.
I'd bet one of the most interested spectators in Perofeta's pointless passing moment was Marty Berry – the former holder of one of New Zealand rugby's cruellest records: the shortest and most senseless test debut.
Berry ran onto the pitch with less than a minute to go in the 1986 test against the Wallabies. His first act: standing under the crossbar and watching the conversion of David Campese's match-winning try as Australia triumphed 22-9. His second act: galloping after the kick-off, only to see the Aussies field it and kick it out, thereby ending Berry's test career, during which he also did not touch the ball.
Very similar to Perofeta – but I think the Taranaki man has taken the title now. Berry at least went on to play eight other matches for the All Blacks, on two northern tours. He was dropped after '86 but made a comeback in 1993 – and remains a terrific pub quiz question: the All Black who played one test but never touched the ball and scored two tries for the All Blacks, totalling nine points.
Berry's two tours of duty came before and after the value of a try was changed – it was worth four points when he played in 1986, five in 1993. Confound your mates with that one.
Marty Berry in action. Photo / Photosport
They are probably already confounded by Foster's insistence on fielding senior players who aren't doing the job while the young and untried get older but remain largely untried.
It's a puzzling selection strategy: welcome to the greatest rugby team in the history of the game. Now stand over there and prepare for inaction.
I feel particularly sorry for Perofeta. He had a breakout Super Rugby season this year, full of inventiveness and elusiveness.
He is behind Barrett and Richie Mo'unga in the pecking order. However, his reward for All Black selection has so far been invisibility; Foster and the other leaders have consistently not selected the young and untried – even though they proved the folly of this by successfully promoting two young props, Ethan de Groot and Tyrel Lomax, in the famous Ellis Park victory over the Boks.
Clearly, they do not think the other newbies are ready. Surely, however, they cannot know this until they give them extended game time. You can see clear roles for Tuivasa-Scheck, Papalii and Fakatava in particular and, even if the brains trust feels they didn't quite measure up in their play to date, there's only one way to foster their talent (pun intended).
Barrett and Mo'unga haven't exactly been world-beaters lately; Barrett lost his spot to Mo'unga who had that fantastic game against the Boks but was a bit of a dud against the Pumas.
If the All Blacks are going to lose six out of eight tests by heavily backing the old guard, why not lose a few with the young blokes on the charge?
Foster even used the word "rebuilding" after the Pumas loss. Rebuilding? What's he on about? This isn't rebuilding. It's just digging a hole. A bloody great big one.
