He said the lack of support became something that made him more hungry for success.
“It was one of those things, whether you help me or hinder me, both of those were fuelling the runs.”
The 31-year-old announced he was hanging up his spikes via a cryptic message on social media.
“While I feel unlucky to have not been able to show everyone the fruits of my best off-season when I take a step back and look at the career I’ve had, I feel so lucky to have lived it,” Millar said on Instagram.
“To the haters, your tears were delicious.”
Millar revealed to the Herald he considers the governing body as one of those haters, along with opponents and spectators.
He also called out the conditions of New Zealand athletics tracks following an incident he had fallen into a pothole while running the 200m at the Potts Classic in Hawkes Bay this January. Doing so, Millar re-injured a long-term back injury which he suffered in 2010 when he was told he would never run again.
That fall initiated his decision to call time on his career.
The Tauranga-born reflected on his injury-ridden run in the sport saying many of his injuries were caused by things out of his control and became detrimental to his career.
“I had a bike fall apart on me, gym equipment failed while I was on it and blocks slipping - not the normal stuff you get, like a tight hamstring,” Millar said.
“I’d done everything within my power to make sure I was as robust as I could be, so I did feel quite hard done by.”
Athletics New Zealand chief executive Cam Mitchell briefly responded to Millar’s claims saying, “We are disappointed to hear of Joseph’s comments. All athletes are subject to the same criteria regarding funding on the HP (High Performance) programme.”
Millar feels gutted the injuries left him unable to achieve his dream of getting to an Olympic Games.
“It was hard because it’s almost like you’re having to acknowledge defeat - that it was a mountain I couldn’t climb,” Millar said.
“But also knowing that I’ve been given this gift of speed to then put it down, felt a little bit blasphemous.
“A lot of people would love to be that quick, but it wasn’t enough for me.
“But at the same time I really tried to be a student of the sport and tried to make sure that if I’m not winning, I’m learning, so that every mistake was a possibility to get better.
“I know that going forward now that I’m getting into coaching, I will probably be a better coach due to my mistakes than because of my success.”
As he looked back on his career and grappled with feelings of being hard done by, Millar exhibited wisdom by shifting his perspective, particularly regarding the events of 2010 and his diagnoses.
“If I’m looking for a bit of luck, I might have already spent it all on the first injury.
“And when you measure it over the entire length of my career, I probably was more lucky than unlucky,” he said.
A career highlight was when he broke the national record because he was able to prove those haters wrong.
“[That] was a big one because I was quite bold about saying that it was coming in to keep an eye out.
“I don’t think that [record] came out of nowhere because I told everyone the exact time (of 20.37) that I was going to run.”
Millar is confident he can still achieve his goals saying on social media, “My focus now is to coach the next generation of athletes to exceed the heights that I achieved and avoid the holes that I stepped in.
“I had a dream to go to the Olympics and while my legs couldn’t get me there, my mind still has a chance.”
Bonnie Jansen is a multimedia journalist in the NZME sports team. She’s a keen footballer, has worked with the Alternative Commentary Collective and was part of the Te Rito cadetship scheme before becoming a full-time journalist.
