Chris Rattue: Hot Spot moments add thrill to game

There are reports that what comes out of little Davey Warner's mouth sounds like the noise made when the business end of a vacuum cleaner meets a bag of crisps.

Tournament will lose excitement and drama without bat monitor technology.

How can the international cricket mob expect us to take the World Cup seriously when they don't? Come on, troops, get with the programme.

Days out from the Long-form Big Bash World Championships, the People Who Pretend To Run World Cricket (PWPTRWC) revealed that Hot Spot won't figure at the tournament in Australia and New Zealand for what sounds suspiciously like cost reasons.

Hot Spot is why some of us watch cricket. In an ever-changing world, Hot Spot is that rare beast - definitive proof. Hot Spot is ruthless, capable of getting more safe convictions in a couple of hours than the police manage in a decade.

There are two other elements to the PWPTRWC's decision review system, and neither comes close to the drama and dependability provided by Hot Spot. Snicko, which is Hot Spot's audio counterpart, has a cute name but is suspect because the alleged sound of bat meeting ball may actually be perfectly timed abuse from a close in-fielder. There are reports that what comes out of little Davey Warner's mouth sounds a lot like the noise made when the business end of a vacuum cleaner meets a bag of crisps. This might bore the rest of the world, but unfortunately Snicko gets very excited.

Meanwhile, the ball-tracking system commonly called Hawkeye looks like it was designed by a 1970s geek who was sick of playing Pong (kids, ask your grandparents). The ball tracker lacks a certain integrity because it isn't actually tracking at all for the important bit. It's predicting.

In marked contrast, Hot Spot is simple and reliable. Even the faintest of edges sticks out, like Richie Benaud's suit in a vat of molasses.

Hot Spot is also exciting - when that little white dot appears on the edge of a bat, it matches those priceless moments on Border Patrol when the customs officer opens a suitcase and there's a killer snake eating a dried frog inside. Gotcha.

Hot Spot equals an anti-match fixing allegations device. Just saying. Cricket needs all the credibility it can get. Just saying.

For those into number crunching, here is another equation that comes to mind. The PWPTRWC can't find enough cameras to make it one rule for all games in terms of Hot Spot. But when you do an internet search on Indian captain MS Dhoni, the first subject that comes up is his net worth. The following number is so large that if the PWPTRWC can't afford a few more cameras, then MS Dhoni could pay with his loose change.

Other solutions are being put forward. Disconsolate cricket fans have, quite logically, suggested introducing Hot Spot in the quarter-finals or at a pinch, just for the final. Australia and South Africa would surely be fine with that.

In other words, if the pivotal Pool A clash between Scotland and Afghanistan at picturesque (ie, small) University Oval in Dunedin must take place without Hot Spot, then so be it. But Hot Spot could make a comeback later, if India approves, of course.