Supershorts: Wannabe Wags

In the eyes of some, Wayne Rooney's philandering might make the life of a Wag look a tad undignified, but the people at www.becomeawag.com are out to change all that.

For a sign-on fee of just $42, British women who want to meet soccer players, marry them, then read about their sex lives in the News of the World, will be added to a database from whence they'll have their shot at fame.

Pay your money and the website will send your details, including pictures, to footballers who say yes or no to a date. Ten days after it started operations, the site claimed to have 15 footballers, including nine from the Premier League, on its books. But, in this odd cross between online dating and a holding pen, the money is no guarantee of Wagdom, a date or even a quick grope on the dancefloor.

"Once women wanted to be princesses, then film stars," says the website's founder, Daniel Hall. "Now they want to be a Wag. An awful lot of women want the lifestyle - and the money."

"Awful" being the key word ...

Wannabe Wags II
On the sign-up page of www.becomeawag.com, a few stock questions are asked.

"Why do you want to be a WAG?" and "How would you describe your personality?" seem obvious enough. "What is the most adventurous thing you've done?" it goes on.

One suspects answering "the Ipswich reserves" would get you further in the process than "bungy jumping".

The most revealing question comes last: "What lengths would you go to, to become a WAG?"

Money talks
The chief executive of Irish soccer club Galway United has some thoughts on the Global Financial S***storm.

"It's the fault of the banks," says Nick Leeson, coughing as he chokes on irony. And he should know: By the time Leeson scarpered from Barings Bank in February 1995 - thoughtfully leaving a note that said "I'm sorry" on his desk - he'd run up debts of $2.08 billion and sunk the bank. Tell us more, man with no self-awareness.

"They shouldn't have allowed people to over-extend themselves as much as they did."

Away from homeless
There's trouble for Zimbabwe's Homeless Soccer team - as if being homeless in Zimbabwe wasn't trouble enough.

The Government of President Robert Mugabe won't let the team go to the Homeless World Cup in Brazil, because the last time a side entered the six-a-side competition, in Australia in 2008, nine of the 10-man squad didn't return home.

GOOD WEEK FOR...Fans of league carnage
After the 2009 arrest-a-thon, it's been an oddly quiet NRL season for fans of players getting arrested for being drunk and disorderly. So take a bow Johnathan Thurston, who visited the clink yesterday morning. Cheers! (Hic!) ...

BAD WEEK FOR... P Divvy
New Zealand's favourite Springbok coach is back in the grief. He's been talking about how the Boks are preparing to face Tonga in their pool at next year's World Cup. Slight problem: Tonga aren't in their pool.

THE NUMBER... 97
The number of breakfasts claimed on expenses by Russian sports minister Vitaly Mutko during his 20-day stay at the Vancouver Winter Olympic Games. That's five brekkies a day, costing $4500 in total.