Forget the fantastic goals and put the comical cans of spray paint to the back of your mind. The real story coming from the Brazil World Cup is going on behind closed doors. It's not yet another Fifa corruption claim, but which players are, er, scoring off the pitch.
More goals have been scored in the opening days of the competition that at any previous tournament, but the world's media has been speculating breathlessly about another kind of scoring: which teams' managers are, shall we say, restricting strenuous nocturnal stamina-training activities.
There are no hard and fast rules about whether players should be allowed to have sex during tournament periods, but some teams are being very firm about their sexually restrictive policies, while others are happy to let nature take its course.
We do know that the Italian team, which vanquished England on Sunday, were permitted to enjoy the company of their wives and girlfriends in Manaus the night before their 2-1 victory. Of course, the same was true of the England camp, though, so the Italians had no unfair advantage there.
As an aside, gullible fans can take cheer from a breathless Daily Star "exclusive" which "revealed" that England fans could now relax, as the arrival of "sexy" Coleen Rooney would "perk" up her husband Wayne's performance on the pitch, after he fired "blanks" against Italy. That's a victory against Uruguay sorted then, lads.