David Leggat: Fatheads have a field day with dire prophecies of doom

Cathrine Latu. Photo / Christine Cornege

Apparently the beginning of the end of the world is due today.

Things will start going awry around 6pm, according to Harold Camping, an 89-year-old preacher from California (that figures).

Which leaves time for a decent lunch, an afternoon stroll with the dog, putting out the rubbish, turning off the lights before waiting for the bright lights to arrive.

Camping reckons 2 per cent of the world's population will immediately be "raptured", or dispatched to heaven. The rest of us are off to the other place.

New Zealand has its share of believers. So when we wake up on Monday there will be a portion of the population deeply disappointed.

They'll be easy to spot in the office canteen, downcast and scratching their heads wondering, asking "where did it all go wrong?" - to lift from the great tale of the old Irish waiter who uttered the line upon entering boozy soccer legend George Best's hotel room, where a naked Miss World, empty champagne bottles and £30,000 were strewn across the bed.

If the balloon does go up, it'll put an end to taxes, unemployment, parking tickets and country music, so there are pluses.

On the other hand, we won't know if the Mystics have become the first New Zealand winners of the ANZ championship; if Manchester United managed to handle Lionel Messi and his Barcelona master passers in the Champions League final; if Ross Taylor or Brendon McCullum were handed the keys to the New Zealand cricket team; and if the All Blacks did finally end 24 years of often self-inflicted World Cup hurt.

If it all comes to pass, it will also be the end of fat people. Which brings us by roundabout route to Nathan James.

I've no idea if Mr James is fat, but he is unquestionably a fathead.

James said on Facebook that the Waikato Bay of Plenty Magic would win their semifinal last weekend against the Mystics because the Auckland franchise's goal shooter Cathrine Latu "is far 2 overweight".

I've also no idea if he is a Magic supporter, if he was serious or trying to be funny.

Presumably he didn't bother to check the statistics, or he'd have found Latu is the No 1 shooter in the competition going into the final, with 93.1 per cent.

Not only that, he had not watched her play closely or he would have noticed her deft handling skills and deceptively quick foot speed.

Thankfully, sport is not the sole preserve of the slender.

Had Shane Warne bowled chunky Mike Gatting a cheese roll instead of the so-called ball of the century in 1993, his skipper Graham Gooch reckoned it would never have got past his bat.

Sri Lanka's charismatic captain Arjuna Ranatunga led with his tummy, prompting Australian wicketkeeper Ian Healy to suggest Warne bowl him a Mars Bar on a good length, with the tip: "That'll get him out of his crease."

Flickering baseball film of Babe Ruth shows a portly man tiptoeing almost daintily round the bases after another of his mere 714 home runs, while William "The Refrigerator" Perry is just the most famous of the many huge linebackers from American football who require a minimum two seats on plane flights.

Golf has thrown up distinctly round major winners Craig Stadler and John Daly, while Laura Davies' solid frame hasn't hindered her en route to over 80 professional titles.

So there's no size to this argument. It's all about skill, and for that more power to Latu's shooting arm.