Which leads us to a miniscule island a few thousand kilometres northeast of Australia.
Kitson has just accepted the job of Nauru football manager, taking charge of a team that doesn’t exist yet. He’s also the new football ambassador for this dot in the ocean with a population of about 13,000, where sporting passion is centred on Australian Rules.
Nauru football is so off-the-grid that it can’t even get into Oceania - football’s outlier confederation - let alone encourage Fifa to notice it. One of Kitson’s aims is to start winning some Oceania federation backing, but where on earth do you start with a project like this?
On the plus side, two English Premier League (EPL) matches are broadcast in Nauru each round. From what Kitson has been told by his comrades, there is terrific enthusiasm in Nauru for the football project.
Fair to say though that Kitson and his cohorts don’t have much to work with as they try to create an international team out of virtually nothing. Nauru is among a handful of sovereign nations - including Monaco and Vatican City - not even recognised by Fifa.
“I’ve got a million questions,” I say to Kitson, a 420-game striker whose star shone brightest for Reading.
“I’m not sure I’ve got a million answers,” he replies.
Where to start?
Kitson celebrates scoring against Bolton Wanderers. Photo / AP
Let’s try Next Goal Wins, the name of a 2014 documentary and a just-released movie by Taika Waititi, featuring American Samoan football.
“The documentary was brilliant, although I’m not sure it needed the movie,” says Kitson about the uplifting story of a footballing underdog.
“Fortunately, thanks to the documentary, there’s quite an appetite to fund these types of projects now. We’re grateful to American Samoa for going first and putting the area on the map for football.
“The plan is, the first game will be against American Samoa and I think they would quite like to play us, so they can win a game.”
As a believer in the “global village”, Kitson says: “Everything has to be done in the right spirit. First and foremost, I’ve pointed out to those involved, a group of Westerners coming in, that it’s got to be a collaboration led by the people of Nauru.
“I’m very conscious of not being the white saviour going in there and saying you should be doing this and that. That’s not my style - wherever you go, you are a guest.
“From there, it’s about getting a team of players on the pitch, finding out what we’ve got to work with as a talent pool, finding players with links to Nauru who might have moved to Australia or New Zealand.
“Then again, it’s all very well finding these guys, but how do you get them back to train and play? That requires funding.
“Talking to a lot of corporates, many like these types of projects. If it’s good for their brand, fine. But it’s got to be the right partnerships with the right motivation.”
Kitson playing for Reading after winning promotion to the English Premier League. Photo / AP
The recently closed Australian processing centre for refugees could become football’s home base, a case of turning a controversial facility into something positive, according to Kitson.
Initial aims include trying to form a tournament featuring other football minnows such as Kiribati.
There are also higher goals, to play a part in dealing with issues facing Nauru such as “alcoholism, unemployment, obesity, diabetes”.
“We’d like to leave a legacy, put a team on the pitch and have kids say they want to be part of that,” Kitson says.
The cast of characters involved include Kitson’s mate Gareth Johnson, whose love of football and adventurous travel spirit brought the pair together. It was Johnson who lured Kitson to the Nauru football cause.
Then there is national coach-in-waiting Charlie Pomroy, another Brit, who also lives in Nauru.
Pomroy is described as a comedian, although Kitson says “he’d be an acquired taste in terms of his sense of humour”.
Kitson adds: “Charlie loves football and is a complete and utter character, which is what you want. He’s been in Cambodia, built projects and football teams there, done exceptionally good work.
“You need to be larger than life with a smile on the face, which is what Charlie is.”
National flags in Nauru for the Pacific Islands Forum. Photo / AP
Kitson aims to be in Nauru for three weeks mid-year when he will put forward a coaching schedule and training regime, work out a style of play that suits the available players, and “try to hit the ground running”.
“Charlie will end up being the national coach - I’m more of a national ambassador pushing the message,” he says.
“I think I will be in charge of the first game using whatever currency my name has to push the word out, get as much help as possible.”
After reaching the heights of the Premier League, Kitson - raised in a village - loves small causes.
He chaired the Arlesey village club in Hertfordshire, has an eponymous academy and just guided his son’s Reading secondary school team to their first national title in 378 years.
Asked about a highlight from his playing career, Kitson nominates the Reading dressing room after winning promotion to the Premier League nearly 20 years ago.
“You would think mass celebration but looking around, there were Icelandic, American, African, French, Irish and English players sitting there, absolutely drained, with little smiles on their faces, knowing they had achieved something together,” he says.
“You won’t find a more cosmopolitan workplace anywhere than the EPL - it makes you realise what an incredible planet we are all stuck on.”
Could the incredible include a Nauru player making it in a professional league one day?
