When your beloved wheeled refuse receptacle catches the eye of the bin next door.

Makes Simon Cowell seem sweet

Olden-day New Zealand's Got Talent: "I was competing in a school holiday competition for singing, dancing musicians in a Waikato town hall in the 1950s when I received the ultimate put-down," writes Mike Hickey. "I was in the third division in which there were only two entrants. Everyone was seated towards the back of the hall with the competitors marshalled in the front rows as they waited to compete. I had to sing first of the two in my division and when I finished there was a pause in proceedings. Then, to my horror, one of the judges came on stage and inquired, 'Who is the other singer in this division?' Another boy raised his hand. I was more than a bit demoralised when the judge said, 'We declare you the winner' and, looking towards me, 'because you couldn't be any worse than him!' He won without having to open his mouth!"

Footpath parker one canny courier


Annie was disappointed we published the photo of the courier van parked illegally on the footpath. "It's probably back-breaking work," she writes. "Which is why they have parked close to the door. Sounds sensible to me. I don't see a lot of pedestrians, shoppers or even disabled people put out by this van's manoeuvre. I sincerely hope that the driver has not been fined, or worse, lost their job over this pettiness. I do sometimes think NZ is suffocating its efficiency with rules."

Clean getaway every time

Sue Warren broke into a stranger's home in Westlake, Ohio, tidied it up, then left an invoice for $75. She's done it before. (She is apparently serious. There are local ads for "Sue Warren Cleaning" service.) (Source: News of the Weird)

Scots on charm offensive

Residents of Glasgow, Scotland, are being offered a one-day "charm school" course to prepare them to deal with 2014 Commonwealth Games visitors.The "Glasgow Welcomes" class, which costs $38 a person and is based on principles created by the Walt Disney Co, is aimed at teaching people, including restaurant workers and taxi cab drivers, how to speak properly, use positive body language and maintain eye contact while talking to tourists expected to visit the city for the games, Scotsman.com reported yesterday.

Hate to rain on your parade...

Another Loyal Royal can't believe Terry got his knickers in a twist over the flotilla coverage: "Hasn't he heard of BBC World? I watched the entire 'historic flotilla' on the Thames free to air on TV One."