Does it matter what your child calls you?
Arguably yes, up to a point. If they're addressing you as, I don't know, Numbskull or Fat Head, that probably indicates a problem has developed between you. (It's just a hunch, that's all.)
But what if they're calling you by your first name? I ask because a video shared by Kylie Jenner on Instagram this week showed her two-year-old daughter, Stormi, doing just that.
Now, of course we should be wary of reading too much into the fact that this got people talking. The reality TV star and influencer only has to blink to generate reams of comment both for and against.
But this particular debate (and I use the word loosely) caught my eye, because I've always been irrationally perplexed by kids who use their parents' first names. And irrational is the operative word here. It's just that to me it sounds weird when a two-year-old does it, and equally jarring from an adult, largely because it's unfamiliar: I called my parents "mum" and "dad", still do, and always will.
Very occasionally, however, my six-year-old son calls me Rosa. Surprising as it sounds, I genuinely prefer it when he addresses me as "Stupid!" The latter at least is a sign I've provoked some emotion, albeit not a positive one when he is using that moniker. But calling me by my first name feels to me like his filial emotion has somehow been suddenly switched off.
I know there are some mothers out there who feel nothing but relief to be referred to by the name they were given, and see "mummy" or "mum" as an erasure of who they actually are - or were. But to me, after six years of motherhood, it still feels like the hugest privilege to hear the word "mummy" trip off the tongues of my children.
Parenthood is never assured. Those of us who actively seek it never know before setting out whether we'll attain it or not. So when a midwife or doctor or nursery nurse has addressed me as "mum" and not "Rosa", I've felt nothing but the deepest gratitude.
That, I must stress, is just me. It's merely a personal thing. The suggestion that Stormi's insistence on "Kylie" is a sign that Jenner doesn't spend enough time with her daughter, as some have presumed to suggest, should be given the shortest of shrift.
Objectively speaking, it's a sure fire sign of precisely nothing at all. None of us can know the intricate workings of other people's parenting styles, and leaping on one tiny detail to make a case that something is amiss is as dangerous as it's intrusive.
Sure, Jenner is a celebrity who chooses to show us her life. I'm quite sure she'll cope with the odd frowny face emoji amid the millions of likes her posts garner.
But in rushing to judgement of her or another, we'd all do well to remember that what seems like weird parenting to one is a strong, loving bond to another.
Leaping to unfounded conclusions about others' parent-child relationships is self-righteousness, plain and simple. So let's please call it by its name.