Kate Hawkesby says December the 11th is break up day. Video / Newstalk ZB


Apparently today is break up day.

How do we know this? Facebook. Facebook data 'experts' found that December 11th was the most common day to break up.

Not surprising given what a stressful time of year this is, people are tired, people are busy, people are under pressure ... all the worst kinds of pressure. Financial, family pressure, pressure to spend extended periods of time with people you may not want to spend time with.


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The spotlight goes on your life in terms of wrapping up the year – what have you done with it? What have you achieved? Are you as happy as you could or should be?

We weigh up what we want for the following year ... and clearly in that equation, we also weigh up WHO we want.

And if it's not the one you're with, then there's apparently an acceptable cut off time before Xmas, and a UK survey said by today is it.

But the day is not just for breaking up romantic relationships, the experts say it's also the time people cut off any bad relationship that may be holding them back.

So what are the psychologists saying we need to do to protect ourselves from all the stress and angst at this time of year ... and save us from potentially ditching our relationships?

Experts say staying offline and taking time to de-stress over the Christmas period can take the pressure off relationships. Photo / 123rf
Experts say staying offline and taking time to de-stress over the Christmas period can take the pressure off relationships. Photo / 123rf

A digital detox is one step apparently – to preserve a healthy relationship. Stay offline.

Spend some precious downtime as a couple before racing off to meet wider family obligations.


Know yourself, and what you're capable of handling ... manage your stress before it gets to the overload stage.

Putting boundaries in place with your family - that's easier said than done, isn't it? But one expert says not over committing is important. "Yes" people need to become "no' people.

We're also told to watch our spending so we don't go nuts ... and buy ourselves a lot of regret later when the credit card bill rolls in.

But the toughest one of all is surely the piece of advice that says spend some alone time as a couple in the lead up to Xmas ... how is that possible?

With end of year school prizegivings and functions, the mad dash Xmas shopping, wrapping, and writing of cards, all the end of year admin for work and home, working out food for Xmas and holiday planning, wrapping up kids sport - where are we supposed to carve out the gap for this "alone time" slash "down time"? It's nigh on impossible.

The best bit of advice from the experts was that break ups aren't necessarily the end of the world.. even if it feels like it at the time. There is life after a break up, they say.

It can be liberating to break free of anything that's holding you back. They call it the "piercing cry for freedom".

That's if you have time for it of course, amidst all the Xmas planning.