Slimy trail leads to teenage culprit

"I recall the time I discovered slimy slug trails every morning in our hallway," writes Janice. "One day I tracked them into my son's bedroom, across the clothes and rubbish on the floor, to around behind his bed, where I found he had been depositing my lovingly made sandwiches for who knows how long. Some sandwiches had been there so long they consisted of dust inside gladwrap. The slugs were then feasting and then making their way back down the hallway to exit the house under the back door. Obviously at that point I stopped making him sandwiches. The mess, however, continued, but we all survived through it for him to reach adulthood, and thankfully he is now his girlfriend's problem."

Letter with appeal

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Question not answer blowing in the wind
"I find leaf-blowers to be annoying and pointless at the best of times," writes a reader. "But while strolling around Auckland Viaduct at 8am on Sunday morning one gentleman in particular was plumbing new depths by using one as the city was being pummelled by the remnants of Cyclone Pam. If ever there was an exercise in futility, that was surely

it."

Beastly slang
A reader writes: "It appears cool slang has entered the house, while I am pleased that it is not 'fully sick' everything has now become 'beast' - 'that character is beast' 'dinner was beast' etc. Not that I'm old or anything, but in my day things were just 'jolly good'."

Jokes to read out to your kids (Part 3)
1. What do you call a cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.

2. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!

3. What's green, has four legs and hurts you if it hits you when it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

4. Two ants are running on top of a cereal pack. One says, "Why are we running so fast?" The other one replies: "Can't you read? It says tear across dotted line."

5. I went to the zoo but it only had one dog. It was a shih tzu.

6. Where do bees go to the toilet? At the BP Station of course!

7. Where does the Queen keep her armies? In her sleevies.

8. Knock knock. Who's there? Europe. Europe who? NO, YOU'RE A POO.

Picture this: An R2D2 that greets you whenever you open the fridge. Product manager Atsushi Yamashita says life can be lonely for singles who live by themselves. "I wanted to make something that says 'Welcome home!,'" he explains, "Something that makes it feel like you've got a family member living with you."...
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