Anthony Grant, the Auckland commercial barrister, would like to assure his clients, friends and acquaintances that he is not the same Anthony Grant who owns an Epsom "gentlemen's club" in Manukau Rd, and who is the subject of publicity at present. The Auckland City Council is trying to close the business using a bylaw that bans commercial sex premises from residential areas. The other Anthony Grant, owner of Club 574s, would also like to make it clear, for the sake of his reputation, that he is not a lawyer.

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Following yesterday's youth language quiz, courtesy of the Ministry of Youth Development, here's a list of nostalgic slang words from previous generations.

Huckery mole - an ugly girl.
Mole patrol - a group of ugly girls on the move.
Dork - variation on the insult "dick", usually male.
Gripper - a male who is not well-liked; who literally has a grip on himself.
Der-brain - (also abbreviated to der), off-the-cuff insult.
Goober/spoon/egg - an unpopular, socially ineffective person.
Tu meke - Maori for "too much".
Wicked - exceptionally positive praise.
Grouse - impressive.
Rad - also impressive.
Spunk rat - a potential love suitor.
Pash, snog, suck face - open-mouth kissing.
PDA - public display of affection.
Yonks - as in "I haven't seen you for yonks and yonks" (ages).
Spack - when something is uncool.
Spaz - an idiot.
Munted - damaged, eg, " I crashed my BMX and now it's munted".
Stink - unfortunate, " That's real stink".
Choice - really good.

Any we've missed? Send your suggestions into Sideswipe.

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The headline that appeared in the Ministry of Education publication, "Safety in Schools for Queers" is the name of a campaign and therefore officially no longer derogatory. The organisation's website says "queer is a reclaimed word that is used to collectively describe gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, takataapui, faafafine and intersex identities. While this term is used by many people, it is acknowledged that it is not the preferred term for everybody".

Feel free to use it with gay abandon.

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Tony Gavigan of St Marys Bay has an idea: "Let's deport Ahmer Mahdi al-Khashali to Bali at once. We could trade him with Indonesia for Schapelle Corby, then offer Schapelle back to the Aussies in return for a better deal for our oppressed ANZ and National Bank employees. The Indonesians could swap Ahmer for a handful of their brethren unlawfully detained at Guantanamo Bay. The Americans could hold Ahmer as a get-out-of-jail-free card for the next bunch of Halliburton contractors who get kidnapped in Iraq. Then he can have a fair trial."