A wannabe Wellington sugar daddy who has been handing out notes to women on the capital’s streets allegedly followed one woman home and made violent threats against another.
One of the women said she has filed a restraining order application against him, claiming his behaviour quickly became “sinister”.
This follows the Herald‘s reporting that police were aware of a man handing out notes in central Wellington offering $200-300 per week in exchange for “friendship” and “companionship”.
Both of the women contacted the Herald after seeing sympathetic comments online questioning whether the sugar daddy was simply lonely and in need of help.
“This is a guy with serious problems who wants to hurt people ... You can’t be kind to this guy,” one woman told the Herald.
Area Prevention Manager Inspector Jason McCarthy said police have received multiple reports about the sugar daddy.
They received a report in November of alleged harassment, and confirmed a restraining order request had been filed with the court. They said another case of alleged harassment against a different woman was reported in December.
The two women separately began communicating with the man in September and said his pattern of behaviour towards them was similar, with his messages becoming sexual and degrading over time.
Daisy* said she was first contacted by the man by text on her business phone number, which she didn’t share with him but can be found online.
She said he offered her money in exchange for friendship, so she sent him her bank account details and started messaging him.
The man would randomly call her at all hours of the day demanding attention and would become “aggressive” if she was busy, she said.
Daisy recalls one instance where he told her to meet him for coffee at a particular time but she wasn’t available and didn’t show up.
He told her he hoped she “died of cancer” and called her “sheep-shagging scum”, she said.
Every time Daisy blocked one of his phone numbers or social media accounts, he would find a different way to talk to her.
Despite Daisy repeatedly telling him to stop contacting her, he would send unwanted sexual messages, like telling her he was performing a sex act to the thought of her.
She has now filed an application for a restraining order against the man after he allegedly followed her on her walk home from work.
Daisy lives in central Wellington and said the man tended to loiter around the area because it was his “hunting zone” to find new women to give notes to.
Once she realised he was following her, she took multiple detours and eventually lost him, but has since changed her walking routes to and from home.
“It sounds like he’s just a sad, lonely guy wanting friends in Wellington, but it’s far more sinister than that,” she said.
Maddy* contacted the sugar daddy herself after seeing a note he had posted on a supermarket noticeboard under a woman’s name.
She thought she was reaching out to a lonely woman looking for friends and said the messages “went dark very quickly”.
“All his WhatsApp pictures are set to look like women,” she said.
Maddy said he tried to make her feel “isolated and cornered” by saying things like “nobody will ever like you” and “I’m the only one who is willing to be your friend”.
When she blocked his number, he started calling her workplace, she said.
Maddy said she knows of seven women, including herself, who have laid police complaints about this man, and that one of those complaints has been open for years.
She said handing out notes in public and posting notes on bulletin boards was not the only way he found women to contact.
He finds people at cafes, bars and protests, and “proactively goes out to try and corner women”, she said.
Maddy contacted police after the man began threatening violence to her, but police have told the Herald that they are “unable to proceed to prosecute without the initial information being provided by the way of a formal complaint“.
Maddy said she did not want to file a formal complaint due to further privacy concerns that cannot be published, but is considering filing an application for a restraining order.
Police said there were further reports from other women, but no criminal offending was identified in those other cases.
Police continue to urge anyone who has been in contact with the sugar daddy to make a report by calling 105.
*Names have been changed for safety reasons.
Janhavi Gosavi is a Wellington-based journalist for the New Zealand Herald who covers news in the capital.