Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau on resilience and public scrutiny

By Nick James of RNZ

Tory Whanau has opened up about how she seriously considered quitting the mayoralty, being “humiliated in front of the whole country” and fighting the patriarchy.

The Wellington mayor has faced several challenges – both political and personal – during her time in the capital’s top job.

These included her admitting to a drinking problem in 2023, and some policies she’s championed have not gone her way.

Last year she revealed that she had been diagnosed with ADHD.

Whanau had committed to running for the role again at this year’s upcoming local body elections.

Whanau spoke at Ginger’s Lesbian Pop-Up Event centred on celebrating LGBTQIA+ wāhine and people on International Women’s Day, which took place after pride celebrations in Wellington over the weekend.

Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau in her council office. Photo / Mark Mitchell

The ticketed public event included a panel with the mayor, sports journalist Alice Soper, former Football Fern Māia Jackman MNZM and media expert Cassie Roma.

In video footage posted on social media, Whanau said over the past two years she had considered quitting.

“I was just like f*** this, you know? It just got so hard, and I felt like no matter what I did this group, minority, were just trying to tear me down.”

Whanau said she then spent time with her family, iwi and focused on her wairua.

“That became kind of like the thing ... it doesn’t matter how much negativity there is, it’s hideous, family, my identity, who I am is the most important thing.”

She detailed the experience of instances of her drinking being shared with the public.

“There’s nothing quite like being humiliated in front of the whole country for getting pissed, you know?”

She told the crowd that after battling public challenges she got herself well – including taking hormone replacement therapy and being connected to her iwi.

“I feel great, and thankfully for the last two years it has given me a thick skin, and so it would almost be a tragedy to step down and not be a voice for those who may not have a thick skin right now.”

She said the crowd should try their best to harness resilience from where they can.

“The patriarchy want us to stay down and we can’t let them.”

In a statement to RNZ, Whanau said she had been very open about the challenges she had faced as a public figure and how she dealt with them.

“To support Pride and International Women’s Day, I had the privilege of connecting with members of the rainbow community in an intimate setting last weekend.

“I spoke candidly about my experience as Wellington’s first Māori wahine mayor, focusing on resilience and personal growth. I think it is important to share these experiences so others can learn from them and, hopefully, they will help them in their own personal journeys.”

Organiser and panellist Cassie Roma told RNZ Whanau was speaking as an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community.

“In a time in which diversity and inclusion seem to be falling behind in the minds of cultures, communities, business and government, it was important that we had the voice of a strong ally to speak on the panel.

“Tory was there not only as a political figure but as a human being sharing her own stories and supporting our community.”

Roma said to give context to her comments she did not say she was quitting.

“In fact, the crux of her commentary was that she was stronger than ever now that she has understanding around her whakapapa, neurodiversity and the intersectional way in which she and her constituents move through the world.”

She said Whanau spoke about everything from perimenopause to resilience to diversity of thought.

“What I took away from her comments on the panel in context was that she is more than ever willing and able to stand up for those whose voices aren’t often heard.”

Roma told RNZ the mayor was authentic and vulnerable.

“The comments on the video without context would be misread by many – especially those looking for some kind of audacious or inflammatory comment.”

– RNZ