Tyler Porter, 20, died in July last year and his body was found at Whangaparāoa’s Arkles Bay. Photo / Supplied
The mother of a man who died weeks before his 21st birthday is fighting Auckland Council’s decision to disapprove a bench in his memory.
Tyler Porter, 20, died in July last year. His body was found at Whangaparāoa’s Arkles Bay 11 days after he disappeared.
A tree has become known to many locals as “Tyler’s tree” and has become a memorial spot decorated with lights, flowers and photos.
His mother, Shara-Lee Porter, wants to install a memorial plaque or bench at her own expense at the beach where he was found, but the council rejected her request.
She said the council stated that commemorative objects are typically reserved for “historically or culturally significant” events.
Porter believes her son’s death and the community response met that criteria.
She said a local board member told her the council was willing to “reassess” its decision if she had a large community backing, so she launched a petition.
Her petition has so far garnered about 700 signatures.
Council head of specialist operations, parks and community facilities, Martin van Jaarsveld, said it had declined Porter’s request.
“We understand this decision may be upsetting for the family, and we empathise with them. We acknowledge community interest in this matter, including the online petition,” Jaarsveld said.
He said her request was not consistent with the guidelines outlined in the Local Parks Management Plan.
“While we understand that not everyone will agree with the approach set out in the plan, we feel it is one that the majority of park users support and is also consistent with the approach being adopted in other local board areas,” Jaarsveld said.
He said the council rarely allows such memorials to be put in council-owned public spaces.
The exceptions are for historically or culturally significant people, events or community contributions relating to the park. These require approval from the local board.
He said “significance” takes a variety of forms, but generally relates to a lasting and well-recognised contribution to the local community, the park itself, or wider cultural or historical values.
Porter said “Tyler’s tree” was decorated by the community before she could even bring herself to visit the site shortly after his death.
She said Arkles Bay and the tree had become a place of reflection for many people.
“We are simply asking for the council to recognise what the community has already decided is a location of deep significance,” the petition said.
Porter said the site was a landmark of community resilience, especially during the 11-day search, when hundreds of strangers became neighbours.
“This event defined our local identity,” Porter said.
“A modest memorial serves as a quiet, respectful reminder of the importance of site safety and the preciousness of life in our shared public spaces.
“I go sit there with my coffee, my husband, our younger child, and we just sit there, and we talk to Tyler, we watch the ocean, we try to keep it a peaceful feeling there,” she said.
Porter said after her son’s “heartbreaking accident”, she started a Facebook blog called What Happens After to share his story and clear up the rumours she was hearing.
Porter said her son was the kindest and gentlest kid she had ever known.
“He just gave and gave and gave, but he never took,” Porter said.
She has shared emotional moments, such as the dream South Island road trip Tyler and his younger brother were planning for when he got his full driver’s licence.
She said the family still intended to undertake such a journey in his honour.
Porter said the blog was also a way to show people the raw side of what happens when you lose a child.
“I was really struggling. I look really strong on the outside.
“I’ve also got another child who I have to show up for daily and keep going for,” she said.
Porter said she was messaged “really unkind things” about her son and his death, without people realising the impact it had on her.
“I lost all my identity because like a part of me is literally gone,” she said.
Porter said people who were involved in the search still reached out and spent time at his tree, including the man who found her son.
“I don’t know a lot of these people, but now, like hundreds and hundreds of people have just become a big part of our family,” she said.
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