Watching someone up on stage holding forth at a luncheon charging between five hundy and two grand a plate you expect a top-notch performance.
I can’t think of any living former British Prime Minister who’d pack out the vast, 800-seat auditorium at Auckland’s Cordis Hotel, especially atthat cost.
Being in the audience of Boris Johnson’s long lunch this week my expectations were obviously high. Having heard him on air with the luncheon’s polished MC Kerre Woodham I felt for Newstalk ZB’s morning host, she struggled to get a word in edgeways.
She managed to do that in bucket loads at lunchtime though, taking the proverbial out of a good-natured Bojo.
Even Winston Peters, not known as a humorous raconteur, spoke before the star turn, observing Johnson looks as though he climbed out of the shower, using the towel as his hair brush.
That’s a hangover from Bojo’s younger days when an old Eton master remembers him as a dishevelled lad, shirt always hanging out, always late, and that hair!
Former British Prime Minister Boris Johnson with Newstalk ZB host Kerre Woodham.
Johnson remembers well his days at Eton, making the point he was a scholarship student, meaning of course he didn’t get there through parental patronage. Those who took that route were, well rather dull and proud of it, he said.
Listening to Johnson speak to his well-heeled, devoted audience reminded me of a mohair jersey being unravelled in fits and starts. At times it was all a bit painful, dithering and disjointed.
Two high-backed, velvet chairs were on stage, looking like the set from The Apprentice. Unfortunately, when they were occupied after the speeches by Paul Henry and Johnson it was Henry who was fired.
He struggled to get a word in edgeways during the following interview but at least he was talented enough to get a few laughs by making light of it.
Talking to many diners afterwards, any criticism I may have had was rebuffed, they got what they came for, firstly to be entertained while at the same time hearing Bojo’s views, mainly on Russia’s invasion of the Ukraine and how when that’s resolved, the world will be a much safer place.
Being the guest at a small luncheon hosted by General Finance the following day and attended by the captains of the Auckland business elites saw a very different Boris Johnson. All my criticism of the day before faded as this man immediately made it known he’d heard my comments on ZB and light-heartedly said he’d had worse.
Sitting around the table yarning with him I understood why he’s an extraordinarily popular figure, maybe not with his Conservative colleagues for his party-going ways as Prime Minister during Covid, but for those who get to know him.
He was happy to answer questions about anything from anyone at the luncheon table, but laughed off a final one, as dessert was about to be served and he was about to leave (late as usual), about whether he’ll be making a return to politics.
He had good reason to laugh because since he resigned from Britain’s top political job just over two years ago he’s said to have pocketed almost $11 million on the international speaking circuit.
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