And lock ‘em all in.
The stars in the bright sky
Are shining on me
If nothing goes wrong
I’ll sleepwalk to victory.
I’ve got Nicola Willis
And Dr Shane Reti
I’ve got
.. uh .. wassisname
And thingamajig.
I love you, Lord Jesus
But best keep that schtum
No one likes a fanatic
Or talking in tongues.
Bless all the dear children
And their dear parents too
Not the red ones or the poor ones
Just the rich and the blue.
DR ASHLEY BLOOMFIELD
Last Christmas, I was DG
And every single day I was crazy busy.
This year, I’m out of the loop
It’s so nice to sleep in and be no one special.
WAYNE BROWN
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Actually I’m a bit over Feliz Navidad and all that crap, who’s paying for it, what’s the point of it? I want to see all the top Felix Navidad officials in my office now, what have they got to say for themselves, what’s the cut of their jib, do they like art, if they do then we have a problem, what’s the point of art, it’s just surfaces, it doesn’t pay the bills, no one cares, you can quote me on that except that I refuse to take any questions, the media are nothing, lower than the lowest crawling, creeping thing, they have no right to ask me anything, I’m the mayor and what’s the point of that, anyway yeah, stick your Feliz Navidad.
IAN FOSTER
Oh hell’s bells
Oh hell’s bells
Oh hell’s bells all the year.
It was no fun
To be the ABs’ coach
With every bastard yelling in my ear.
Losing to the Irish
Thrashed by the Boks in Mbombela
Beaten being by the Pumas
Not exactly laughing all the way.
Knobs and knobheads moan
Making spirits low
But I’m still here in charge
And I’m gonna bring home the Rugby World Cup
Yeah! Suck on that!
JACINDA ARDERN
It was Christmas Eve babe
In the Beehive Bar
A round man said to me, “Won’t see another one.”
I said, “Cheer up Grant
“Bugger the polls.”
I turned my face away
And dreamed of stardust.
I’ve got a feeling
Luxon will crash and burn
So happy Christmas
and next one too
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true.
All the girls and boys are singing Tūtira mai ngā iwi
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day.
RUBY TUI
Santa, tell me
Are you really there?
’Cos this old white man schtick of yours feels so
Last year.
Santa, tell me
Can you do this?
Unite the whole country by singing …
Tūtira mai ngā iwi, tātou tātou e
Tūtira mai ngā iwi, tātou tātou e
Whai-a te marama-tanga,
me te aroha - e ngā iwi!
Ki-a ko tapa tahi, ki-a ko-tahi rā
Tātou tātou e
Tā-tou tā-tou e E!
Hi aue hei.
