NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / New Zealand

Steve Braunias: The secret diary of the Wānaka incident

NZ Herald
17 Sep, 2021 05:00 PM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

    Reminder, this is a Premium article and requires a subscription to read.

William Willis and Hannah Rawnsley. Photo / NZME

William Willis and Hannah Rawnsley. Photo / NZME

Opinion

OPINION:

MONDAY

"Silence for Her Honour, the Queen's Judge," said the stable boy. "All rise!"
"Hello, mother," sighed the accused.
The judge glared at him as she gathered her robes around her and sat down with all due dignity at a picnic table.
"Please be seated," said the stable boy.
The accused and co-accused
sat on the ground.
"Move a little further away," said the judge.
The accused and co-accused slid backwards on the straw.
"A little further."
The accused sighed.
"Further."
They sat at the back of the stables.
"Good," said the judge. "I want to be as distanced from you as possible. Now. Let's get down to business. You decided on a nice little getaway during level 4 lockdown to the family home in Wānaka. Stupid boy. As for you…"
"Leave her out of this, mother."
"You will address Her Honour as Your Honour," said the stable boy.
"Oh shut up," said the accused.
"He will not shut up," said the judge. "You will. Now. I take it your QC has applied for name suppression."
"Yes."
The stable boy glared at him.
"Yes, Your Honour," sighed the accused.
"But you simply must face the music," said the judge. "As must we all."
The stables went quiet. No one spoke as the gravity of the situation sunk in. A horse looked over the stall at the gathering, and dropped its load.

TUESDAY

The judge released a statement: "Like the rest of New Zealand, I was appalled to learn of my son William and his partner's actions over the weekend. In addition, I was and am highly embarrassed. Had I known of their intentions, which of course I did not, I would have told them not to act so thoughtlessly and selfishly. I do not condone their conduct.
"I understand that William and Hannah are no longer seeking suppression of their names. I support this decision."

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
"We are deeply sorry for our actions and would like to unreservedly apologise to the Wānaka community." Photo / NZME
"We are deeply sorry for our actions and would like to unreservedly apologise to the Wānaka community." Photo / NZME

The accused and co-accused released a statement: "The decision that we took to travel to Wānaka last week was completely irresponsible and inexcusable. We are deeply sorry for our actions and would like to unreservedly apologise to the Wānaka community, and to all the people of Aotearoa New Zealand, for what we did.
"We understand that strict compliance is required to stamp out Covid-19 from our country. We have let everyone down with our actions, and we wholeheartedly apologise."
The stable boy went into the stalls, picked up horse manure with his pitchfork, and shook it into a wheelbarrow.

WEDNESDAY

The accused dreamed he was a boy. It was Christmas. He dreamed his parents gave him the South Island. "I like this toy," he said.

THURSDAY

A reporter asked the judge for comment.
The stable boy released the hounds.

FRIDAY

News report, Wānaka Sun newspaper: "Wānaka has a mystery to solve. Who is the well-meaning person leaving positive advice written on stone in the town centre?

"Wānaka Sun publisher Aaron Heath is among those who would love to know. He found two of the messages outside Wānaka and Aspiring pharmacies on Helwick St this morning – and a quick check around a deserted town centre revealed more on the corner of Helwick St and Dunmore St.
"The messages include, 'Live your best life', 'Don't take anything personally' and 'Be impeccable with your words.'
"'Whoever left the stones was up early,' Aaron said. 'I would love to know who is behind it. Someone is giving us some light relief in lockdown.'"

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Discover more

New Zealand

'Right thing to do': Person who reported Wānaka holidaymakers speaks out

16 Sep 05:42 AM
Opinion

Steve Braunias: What Aucklanders stuck in lockdown hell need from the rest of NZ

16 Sep 05:00 AM
Opinion

Steve Braunias: Four o'clock looms

12 Sep 10:48 PM
Opinion

Steve Braunias: The Secret Diary of David Seymour

10 Sep 05:00 PM
Save

    Share this article

    Reminder, this is a Premium article and requires a subscription to read.

Latest from New Zealand

New Zealand

Traffic delays after car flips on roof at busy West Auckland intersection

25 Jun 09:52 AM
New Zealand

Wild weather: Sth Is braces for 184km/h winds, Auckland Harbour Bridge could close

25 Jun 09:06 AM
New Zealand

'No water use': Faulty meters spark billing chaos for Watercare customers

25 Jun 08:54 AM

Kaibosh gets a clean-energy boost in the fight against food waste

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from New Zealand

Traffic delays after car flips on roof at busy West Auckland intersection

Traffic delays after car flips on roof at busy West Auckland intersection

25 Jun 09:52 AM

Emergency services were called to the scene about 8.20pm.

Wild weather: Sth Is braces for 184km/h winds, Auckland Harbour Bridge could close

Wild weather: Sth Is braces for 184km/h winds, Auckland Harbour Bridge could close

25 Jun 09:06 AM
'No water use': Faulty meters spark billing chaos for Watercare customers

'No water use': Faulty meters spark billing chaos for Watercare customers

25 Jun 08:54 AM
Man sentenced to 19 months’ prison for punching woman's teeth through cheek, inciting suicide

Man sentenced to 19 months’ prison for punching woman's teeth through cheek, inciting suicide

25 Jun 08:00 AM
Engage and explore one of the most remote places on Earth in comfort and style
sponsored

Engage and explore one of the most remote places on Earth in comfort and style

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP