Steve Braunias: The secret diary of ... that Trump interview

Donald Trump: "I read a lot." Photo / AP

Jonathan Swan: Gidday, Sir.

President Trump: Okay, so I can tell from your accent that you're not an American, you're from one of those obscure English-speaking countries, maybe New Zealand – no, please don't interrupt, okay? – and I'm fine with that, you know, I mean it might be a different story if you were Chinese. Because this virus was sent to us by China and we're never going to forget it. Believe me, we're never going to forget it. They tried to destroy the United States. But we've coped with it beautifully, the virus is totally under control and, you know, I wish Ghislaine Maxwell good luck.

Swan: But 140,000 Americans have died and 1000 are dying each day.

Trump: But do you know what's more important? These charts. I've brought along some charts, some very good charts and they will show you that there are 188 countries right now that are suffering far greater than we are. Okay? Look at these charts.

Swan: What do these charts say about testing for the virus?

Trump: Well, there are those that say you can test too much. You do know that.

Swan: Who says that?

Trump: It's in the manuals.

Swan: What manuals?

Trump: It's in the books.

Swan: What books?

Trump: No, you wanted to ask me about these charts. These are the latest charts, they're printed on good quality paper, they've been spell-checked, you won't find a single fault in these charts. Obama never had charts like these. The Clintons, they never had charts like these. Look how smooth they are.

Swan: The figure I'm looking for is deaths.

Trump: Well, right here, look at this chart, it shows you that the United States is lowest in numerous categories. We're lower than the world. We're last, which means we're first.

Swan: But when it comes to deaths, the US is really bad, much worse than South Korea, Germany, et cetera.

Trump: That's not what I've read.

Swan: Read where?

Trump: In manuals.

Swan: What manuals?

Trump: In books.

Swan: What books?

Trump: You asked about deaths. This chart deals with deaths. Death is way down from where it was. Death is down in Arizona. It's going down in Florida.

Swan: Nationally it's going up.

Trump: Death is down in Texas. It's going down in Florida.

Swan: But nationally it's going up.

Trump: Here's what I think is interesting. Nobody ever brings up China. But China is a bigger problem than global warming. A much bigger problem than global warming in terms of the real world.

Swan: What do you base that on?

Trump: I read a lot. They like to say I don't read. I read a lot. I comprehend extraordinarily well, probably better than anybody that you've interviewed in a long time. I read a lot.

Swan: What do you read?

Trump: I read manuals.

Swan: What manuals?

Trump: I read books.

Swan: What books?

Trump: Would you like to these charts away with you? A souvenir. A momento, like a MAGA hat but a bit more personal. I'll sign them. You can take them, if you like, you seem like a nice young man - and say hello to everybody in New Zealand. I bet they wish they were in the US right now. In fact, I know they do.