Steve Braunias' Secret Diary of Christmas

JOHN KEY

At the end of the month it's Christmas, and I think the majority of New Zealanders will be spending it at their holiday home in Maui.

ANDREW LITTLE

The New Zealand Labour Party is working together to deliver a coherent message which expresses the way we feel about the Christmas season.

We want it to resonate with our supporters, and also with undecided voters. We want it to be positive but at the same time recognise this is a time of year when many families are feeling the pinch. We want it to share the values of the Christian faith but not at the expense of other religions.

We will be holding a press conference to announce our coherent message which expresses the way we feel about Christmas after we return to Parliament in February.

WINSTON PETERS

I've been pretty quiet lately but let me assure you that as leader of New Zealand First, I'm working on something big, something that will shock this nation to its very core.

I don't want to give anything away right now, but you might want to chew this over in the meantime: how many Asians celebrate Christmas?

Food for thought...

DAVID SEYMOUR

Not for me the baubles of office! Not for me, either, the baubles of Christmas trees.

As leader of the Act Party, I want to set a good example by cutting back on unnecessary spending. Christmas trees, like any branch of public service, can get by with less.

Tinsel is too easily tangled. Lights use too much energy. Angels and things like that are symbols of fantasy.

Strip it all back and you're left with a tree, nothing more and nothing less - and like any public servant, you can throw it out when you're done with it.

JAMES SHAW

As co-leader of the Green Party, I'd just like to take this opportunity as Christmas approaches to share my dynamic vision for a clean, green New Zealand.

METIRIA TUREI

As co-leader of the Green Party, I hope some of you stick around after James shares his dynamic vision for a clean, green New Zealand, to listen to my fairly stumbling and not especially interesting remarks about sustainability and that.

TE URUROA FLAVELL and MARAMA FOX

Kia ora. As co-leaders of the Maori Party, neither of us have anything much to say right now, other than we wish our benefactor, Prime Minister John Key, a merry and prosperous Christmas.

PETER DUNNE

Hello. You may remember me as leader of United First. I still am, but many have forgotten that fact, and indeed many have forgotten that I exist.

Even those who know who I am are a bit vague about whether I serve a purpose. I do, in fact, serve a purpose, which is to serve Prime Minister John Key, whom I wish a merry and prosperous Christmas.

JUDITH COLLINS

It seems strange that I wasn't asked to contribute to this selection of Christmas messages from the leaders of New Zealand political parties.

I may not be the leader of the National Party just yet but good things come to those who wait, and I showed admirable patience these past 12 months as I waited to be restored to my rightful place as Minister of the Crown.

It feels good to be back. All I ever wanted was to get things done, and make a difference. It's not a role I take lightly, and I'll work hard and to the best of my abilities.

As for Prime Minister John Key, certainly I wish him a merry and prosperous Christmas. He deserves to enjoy some peace and quiet as he spends time with his family over the holiday season.

As for the New Year, he'd better watch his back.