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Home / New Zealand

Sri Lankan refugee reflects on traumatic past: 'We were playing a life and death game of hide and seek'

NZ Herald
25 Feb, 2018 04:00 PM5 mins to read

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Sri Lankan refugee Andrew Balaranjan is using his experiences to inspire others. Photo / Supplied

Sri Lankan refugee Andrew Balaranjan is using his experiences to inspire others. Photo / Supplied

Andrew Balaranjan's memories of his childhood are of men with guns, hiding for hours in a bunker and of a torturous walk to safety.

Balaranjan, 33, was born in the north of Sri Lanka in Jaffna, the capital of the country's Northern Province, and lived in fear for the majority of his childhood during the Sri Lankan Civil War.

"As a kid growing up I couldn't wrap my head around the realities of war. That had an effect on me because I was always fearful about what was going to happen," he said.

Balaranjan lived with his mother and two older siblings, while his father worked away in Colombo.

He recalls soldiers walking through their house, playing cricket with the village children and having to scramble to safety when bombs went off.

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"A typical scenario was getting bombed, so every home had a bunker or safe place where you went into hiding.

"We were playing a life and death game of hide and seek. I still remember asking my mother, are we going to get killed this time around?"

In the mid 90s, Jaffna became a target and bombings became so frequent the villagers were forced to leave their homes and flee.

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"It got to the point that we had no choice but to leave everything behind.

"It was for your own safety to take whatever you had in your hands and walk away.

"In our rush to leave the war zone, we left behind important family memorabilia such as pictures and albums of weddings, birthdays and the like. They are just distant blurry memories to me now."

Sri Lankan refugee Andrew Balaranjan, left, and his brother in Sri Lanka before the Civil War - the only photograph he has of his childhood. Photo / Supplied
Sri Lankan refugee Andrew Balaranjan, left, and his brother in Sri Lanka before the Civil War - the only photograph he has of his childhood. Photo / Supplied

Balaranjan's family walked for miles, sometimes without water, to find security.

"It was a very horrendous and torturous walk because you had to walk for many hours," he said.

The family found refuge in camps along the way, where they slept in huts and had to stand in long lines to receive what scant food was available.

Weeks and much suffering passed in which they lived this nomadic life, until Balaranjan's father was able to travel north and get the family to safety.

"I hadn't seen him for many years, but he was able to come once it was safe and actually get us out."

Balaranjan was 11 years old when the family found safe territory in Colombo, the capital of Sri Lanka.

"It was relatively safe but it was still hard for me to sleep at night because I was so used to getting bombed and helicopter noises. I was programmed to always be on the lookout."

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Nine months later the family started a new life in New Zealand, after securing sponsorship from a grandmother and aunt already living in Auckland.

"I had no idea what I was doing or what a plane looked like," Balaranjan said.

"It was all foreign to me. I couldn't even speak English. I came to NZ as a refugee with a suitcase on my back, not knowing how life was going to pan out."

Andrew Balaranjan enjoying the Kiwi culture of a barbecue last year. Photo / Supplied
Andrew Balaranjan enjoying the Kiwi culture of a barbecue last year. Photo / Supplied

Balaranjan said arriving in a foreign country was like having to rewire your brain.

"I started school in third form at Selwyn College and communication was very difficult for me. I couldn't express myself, what I was feeling or what I was going through because I couldn't speak the language.

"I used to go into hiding at lunchtime as I was so terrified."

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Balaranjan said he took classes to learn English and about the Kiwi way of life.

"It was quite a testing time. All the small things you take for granted, I had to learn as it was all foreign to me."

He said it was the encouragement from the people around him that got him through the difficult times, as well as his Christian faith.

"As a teenager I had no way of getting help because I couldn't express myself, so I bottled it up for many years and did my best to cope with it, and I prayed a lot.

"The people from our family, church and their friends donated us clothing, cutlery and taught us everything from how to find a supermarket to going to a GP.

"All the small things people did were big things for me because they gave me love, grace and compassion to help get me through.

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"If it wasn't for them then I wouldn't be where I am today."

Eventually Balaranjan left school and went on to study computer science and information systems at the University of Auckland.

He is now working as a senior software engineer for an international company and using his story and experience as a refugee to inspire others.

"I want to be that positive voice and try to reach as many people with my story to inspire them and help them go on to do better things," he said.

He has an Instagram page where he focuses on distributing messages of faith, and does public speaking within churches and refugee organisations.

"I want to inspire people through my words, because words have power," he said.

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"There is always a second chance or some sort of hope. No matter what happens you can always come out the other end."

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