Sideswipe: May 27: Self plucking

This sign at a strawberry farm was spotted during a recent trip to Cameron Highlands Resort in Malaysia.

This sign at a strawberry farm was spotted during a recent trip to Cameron Highlands Resort in Malaysia.

Lessons in contradiction

A reader writes: "A recent school newsletter has a reader confused. On the second page there is a promotion of a Living Without Violence course for young people followed directly below by a Fighting Spirit II boxing fundraising night ... 'All fighters are locals and nearly all have children in the school,' it said. Maybe one of the auction prizes at the fight night could be a place on the Living Without Violence course?"

Gained in translation

"A few years ago one of our export customers had specified a French insulation product, so we sent the internet link to our supplier," writes Howard. "Our contact there said he couldn't open the link, which we thought strange as we had no problem. Turns out the description of 'unfaced', which means not lined with aluminium foil, was translated from the French as nude and blocked by IT as a naughty word."

Crying wolf

A reader writes: "My fiancee was talking to her sister on the phone. Sister screams and the phone went dead. So my fiancee called the police, who promptly turned up and tackled the menacing man with a spade in the front yard. They entered the house to find a quite bewildered woman drying off a phone after dropping it in the full sink. The roses had to wait for another day to get planted."

Foot loose in NZ

"The new South African principal at our local school has asked that all children wear shoes to school and in the playground," writes a parent. "Our school is 75 years old and the kids have always gone barefoot. Going barefoot is a right of passage for Kiwi kids and trying to change it is like trying to change the DNA of New Zealand. I and my parents and grandparents all did it and I am determined that my kids will do the same."

On the breadline

Rossco says Vogel's is cheaper in the UK because it is made there and not shipped there (honestly think about it, bread wouldn't last six weeks on a ship). "Food in the UK is much cheaper than in NZ because the EU and the UK subsidise heavily and economies of scale means production is cheaper," he says. "Demand is also lower for Vogel's - because there aren't five million Kiwis who hold it on a pedestal, it has to compete with all of the other (rubbish) bread over there."

This sign at a strawberry farm was spotted during a recent trip to Cameron Highlands Resort in Malaysia.

Blackboard excellence.

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz