Sideswipe: December 29: In a hurry to grow up

Omar noticed this evidence of a young person in a hurry to grow up parked up in Mt Eden Village. Photo / Supplied

Positive reinforcement
Aubrey writes: "My 19-year-old son and three friends have shown unimpeachable respect for the driving laws since obtaining their licences to drive. When stopped on their way to a function in my son's car they were duly breathalysed. As expected, the test produced a zero result and the car was flagged away. Not a word of acknowledgment of their good behaviour escaped the lips of the doughty policeman. May I suggest that a wink, an encouraging word, or even a $5 voucher to our younger citizens, funded from the fines collected from our lesser citizens, would go a long way in the fight to keep our roads safe?"

Our digital way of life
Everyday tasks that are being phased out by technological innovations:

1. Call the cinema to find out times.
2. Use phone boxes.
3. Get photos developed.
4. Hand-write letters.
5. Buy disposable cameras.
6. Check a map for a car journey.
7. Own an encyclopaedia or dictionary.
8. Remember phone numbers.
9. Pay by cheque.
10. Watch TV according to channel schedules.
(Source: Metro.co.uk)

Slice of married life
Brian's scar story: "One year into our marriage (1970) my wife and I were at a friend's barbecue. I was drinking many beers and given a very sharp knife to cut up a roll of fillet steaks. All the kids were playing with balloons. A balloon drifted past me ... so I popped it - cue much laughter from the kids. A minute later another balloon came into my view from the corner of my eye. Without turning, I reversed the knife and popped the balloon with a hard, downward stroke. Unfortunately, my wife had decided to kick that same balloon at the same time. Result: Wife carted off to hospital with long knife sticking out of foot. Me carted off to hospital with right hand laid open to the bone across the palm and down hand rump to the wrist. Cut nerves and tendons."

More words for the newly wise
Further to the phrase "Well, slap my ass and call me Sally! ... How about; well, strip my gears and call me shiftless; well, slap my forehead and call me stupid; well, feed me nails and call me Rusty."

Comedy support act
Ivor Miller writes: "The one I've used for years is ... 'Well cut me off at the knees and call me a tripod.' Always gets a good giggle."

Newspaper feels the burn
Chile's Supreme Court has ordered a newspaper to pay $125,000 to 13 people who suffered burns while trying out a published recipe for churros, a popular Latin American snack of dough fried in hot oil. Judges determined that the publisher of La Tercera newspaper failed to fully test it before publication and that if readers followed the recipe exactly, the churros had a good chance of exploding once the oil reached the suggested temperature. (Source: telegraph.co.uk)