1. Dude walks into a bar and sees three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asked the bartender, "What are those for?" Bartender answers, "If you can slap a piece of meat, you get free drinks for an hour. If you can't, everyone's drinks are on you.Do you want to try it?" "Nah, the steaks are too high."
2. I was going to make a joke about a bank ... Then I lost interest.
3. This joke is set during the Cold War. This was the time when Bob from America was arguing with Rudolf from Soviet Russia. They argued about politics, about religion, about their presidents - even about the weather. One night Rudolf said it was raining outside, but Bob would not agree. He said it was sleeting. So they argued all night: Rain! Sleet! Rain! Sleet! The argument continued until Bob's wife pulled him aside and said: "Dear, you're wrong. It is raining. And this time the Russian is right, because ... Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."
4. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it. (Via quora.com. More here...)
In an online education forum, a teacher shared that she once told off a normally sweet 12-year-old for drawing a penis in his workbook. After asking him if he was ashamed of himself, the shocked lad said it was just the beginnings of a butterfly.
Things that go gasp in the night
"One early morning, walking through the almost-dark house," a reader writes, "I turned into the hallway just as a shadowy figure emerged from our bedroom. I gasped in fear - which in turn gave the shadowy figure (aka my partner) a fright, so he gasped in fear, which then gave me another fright so I gasped in fear again! At which point my partner exclaimed, 'God you're a dick!' and we both fell into fits of giggles!"
Admirable commitment to an ironed shirt. "My husband and I were driving down upper Queens Street last Saturday evening when we saw this young man," writes Sue Perkins.?
The mystery of the missing blue pebbles.
"The chocolate fairy at our house was very disappointed about the change in colours and asked Cadbury who replied: "We appreciate your feedback and want you to know that for technical reasons we're no longer producing purple Pebbles. We're sorry if this has caused any inconvenience but to avoid sending the existing packaging to landfill we're running out the current packs, with new packaging expected to hit shelves later this year.The chocolate fairy now prefers to supply M&Ms."
