Professional help in relationships

By Liz Kinley

People think it is okay to go to their family doctor for help for physical health problems, but they can be uncomfortable seeking help for emotional or relationship difficulties. At Relationship Services, New Zealand's largest national counselling organisation, we are trying to change that.

We all need effective personal relationships so we can enjoy full satisfying lives, be effective parents, feel part of our family and community, and perform well at work.

Health problems can be one of the warning signs that a relationship is in difficulty or starting to break down. This can also apply to workplace relationships.

Our counsellors see a clear link between physical and emotional health in their counselling work. In our brochures we identify warning signs or identifiable situations which can be useful for clients - allowing them to acknowledge what is happening in their relationship.

We know that in many cases emotional difficulties like relationship problems will cause or present to a GP as health problems.

They are often problems that may affect the whole family, including its health.

Sometimes people who are having particular difficulties - such as violence or abuse in their relationship - may first come to the attention of the medical profession.

That's why Relationship Services wants to work more closely with GPs and mental health service providers around the country.

This organisation is not a specialist mental health service, but many of our counsellors have considerable expertise in responding to mental health issues. They work effectively alongside psychiatric specialists and prefer to work in a complementary way with doctors, with the client's agreement.

We might also provide effective additional support for caregivers, partners, friends or family.

Our counsellors are properly qualified professionals who work in a structured way with clients. They work with couples, individuals, help with family relationships, deal with workplace issues, and also work with teenagers in many areas.

While counselling is the organisation's primary service, it also has a strong preventive focus. We work with couples whose relationship is in crisis and help people find solutions to child custody and access issues. But we also offer education courses on a wide range of interpersonal issues like grief management, dealing with anger, adjusting to change, and building self-esteem.

We deliver domestic violence protection programmes for both perpetrators and victims of violence.

Some people may know this organisation better as Marriage Guidance, but our name change several years ago reflects the change in our client group. Counsellors now deal with people in a whole range of relationships - whether they are heterosexual or same-sex relationships, married or de facto.

We have become more professional - all staff are now paid employees, have professional supervision, clear job descriptions, performance standards, and regular performance assessments.

Relationship Services offers counselling and education services from 30 offices and more than 70 community locations throughout New Zealand.

A free-phone number 0800 RELATE (0800 735-283) will connect people directly to the office in their local community.

* Liz Kinley is the national manager professional services for Relationship Services.