How can we achieve a society where sexual violence survivors are heard and supported, when our elected leaders are telling them to sit down and shut up?
For those unaware, John Key accused Labour MPs of "supporting rapists and murderers" while fielding questions about the New Zealanders detained on Christmas Island.
Later, when a group of female MPs from Labour and the Greens tried to share their experiences of sexual assault (to show the Left does not support rapists), Speaker David Carter shut off their microphones and ejected them from the House.
Both sides have been accused of distracting from the "real issues". But Carter's behaviour is symptomatic of another serious problem -- the silencing of rape and abuse survivors.
According to data published by Rape Prevention Education NZ, around one in five adult women will experience sexual assault. And, according to Ministry of Justice figures, 9 per cent of sexual assaults are reported.
People working in violence prevention I have interviewed say widespread rape mythology and a culture of skepticism and disbelief often force victims to stay silent.
Rape victims are met with suspicion from authorities, said Victoria University criminologist Jan Jordan -- which research says is partly due to a "historical hangover" from false rape accusations to cover unwanted pregnancies in the Victorian era.
In court, the survivor is often re-victimised, said Wairarapa Rape Crisis co-ordinator Michelle Ihaka, as they have to face their attacker and brutal lines of questioning in which they may be condemned for not "preventing" the assault.
And there's the victim-blaming. Psychology Today writer Juliana Breines said a victim's innocence threatens our sense that the world is a safe and moral place, where good and bad people are justly rewarded. And so, rape victims are told they "deserved it" by wearing short skirts, or walking home alone.
In New Zealand, there have been some shameful cases. The lawyer who told a woman allegedly raped on Courtney Place she "should have closed her legs". The young woman who witnessed the antics of the Roast Busters quizzed about her drinking habits on RadioLive. Tania Billingsley, who faced ridicule when going public about her alleged attack by a Malaysian diplomat.
And Amanda Bailey -- who spoke out about the repeated harassment by our PM and accused of politically-motivated stunts.
And now, when our political figures share their stories, they're booted from the room.
If our most powerful and influential women are hushed up, I fear for our ordinary citizens.
When those we vote into power attempt to muzzle survivors' voices, how can we expect change within our police and legal system? How can we expect victims' rights to be taken seriously, when this is the behaviour modelled at the top?
It's not good enough.
It's time we got angry, and told our leaders we expect better.