PRECIOUS TIMES: Midweek editor Erin Kavanagh-Hall, at 16, with her Nana Gwen (1927 - 2010).
PRECIOUS TIMES: Midweek editor Erin Kavanagh-Hall, at 16, with her Nana Gwen (1927 - 2010).
This weekend marks the sixth anniversary of my paternal grandmother's death.
I'm one of the lucky ones -- I made it to 25 with all four of my grandparents still alive. And to 31 with three, before my Pop passed away in November.
As a child, Nana Gwen was oneof my favourites. I'd spend most summer holidays with her and Pop in Nelson -- she'd take me raspberry picking, we'd spend hours at the swimming pool and the library, we'd play endless games of Snakes and Ladders, and she'd patiently accompany me every time I insisted on a walk through the cemetery, one of my favourite things to do.
She'd fill the cupboards with all my favourite things: cheesebread, ingredients for baking afghans and raisin cakes, jelly and ice cream. We'd talk for hours, we'd laugh a lot, she'd pray for me every night before bed.
As a person, Gwen's frugality was the stuff of legends -- nothing was too old, or too worn. She would wash plastic supermarket bags so they could be re-used, telling my mother, "you keep house in a way that saves time, I keep house in a way that saves money".
She didn't suffer fools gladly, but rarely uttered an ugly word. Kindness and respect were her mantras. She loved her whanau fiercely, and her grandchildren were her world.
I wonder -- what is it that makes grandparents so remarkable, such an intrinsic part of our upbringing?
As American anthropologist Margaret Mead put it "connections between the generations are essential for the mental health and stability of a nation". Some say grandparents are so essential because of the time they have to offer. In her book How to Build the Grandma Connection, US author Susan V Bosack said grandparents are particularly important these days, as they can fill a void for children in busy, two-career and single-parent families.
Without the pressures of providing for or disciplining a child, a grandparent's love is "often freer and less psychologically complex" than a parent's, Bosack says.
"Parents have to worry about who children will become in the future. Grandparents can just enjoy children for who they are in the moment."
Grandparents are goldmines of knowledge, life experience, advice and stories. As a reporter, I've been blessed to hear many such stories from the senior members of our community -- from restoring train engines, to making horse-drawn carriages, to hitch-hiking through Europe.
I hope their grandchildren are keeping those newspaper clippings safe. It's too easy for history to get lost.
A colleague once said being a grandmother opened up a "portal of love" she'd never thought was possible. I received that love growing up. And I didn't always appreciate it.
I need to call my surviving grandparents more often.
Nana, I'd give anything to play Snakes and Ladders and go raspberry picking with you again.
