Northland mum calls for anti-bullying programmes to be compulsory

A 9-year-old's mother has raised the alarm on social media over her daughter's struggle with bullies. Photo / 123rf

A Northland mum tired of her 9-year-old daughter’s daily battle with bullying is calling on the Government to introduce compulsory anti-bullying programmes in schools.

Her “loving girl”, keen to make friends and learn, had to move to a new school after she endured name-calling, her lunch being stolen, clothes hidden, comments about being “poor” and sneaky hits in the classroom.

The mother, who did not want to be named, wanted students to better understand the harm bullying can cause and to see parents take more responsibility.

However, education leaders say bullying is a complex issue and the children carrying out the acts are often bullied in their own homes.

According to a Growing Up in New Zealand report from earlier this year, young people reported being called names and being teased and left out at a much higher frequency than teachers did in the survey.

A higher proportion of young people reported being a victim of physical aggression than teachers, and more frequently. Where 7.1 per cent of students were reported by teachers to have had property damaged or stolen, 16.8 per cent of students reported this occurring.

After months of bullying and seeing no way forward, the mother pulled her daughter out of her school. However, within the second week of starting her new school, pupils had begun to pick on her appearance and threaten to hit her.

The young girl kept her experience to herself for fear of being labelled a “nark” but eventually her mother found out.

Her mother said constant comments from bullies are beginning to impact her daughter’s self-esteem, despite the strong support system around her.

“It comes down to educating your own kids. We can’t expect teachers to teach your kids respect,” the mother said.

She is concerned the real impact will be felt later on.

“It’s just so hard because you don’t want to send them to school. You feel like you’re dropping your kid off to strangers you know are no good for her... so many bright kids are missing out.”

The mother planned to write a letter to the Ministry of Education about the issue.

Te Tai Tōkerau Principals’ Association chairman Pat Newman said bullying is a complex societal problem that is dealt with on a “case-by-case” basis.

Newman said schools have a responsibility to effectively manage the situation but responsibility also lies with the parents.

“It’s a hugely complex issue. Half of the bullies themselves are bullied at home,” he said.

Newman said the issue for schools is that teachers’ powers have been “minimised” by Ministry of Education guidelines.

Director of education for Te Tai Tokerau Hira Gage said bullying was complex because of the many possible factors that underpin it such as social norms, discriminatory beliefs and power imbalances, and the many forms it can take - for example: verbal, physical, and social.

“Schools and kura have a responsibility to provide physically and emotionally safe environments for all learners, and to take all reasonable steps to eliminate bullying, and other forms of discrimination within the school.”

Gage said schools have clear policies and procedures in place to manage any concerns around behaviour.

Tackling bullying is a shared responsibility between students, staff, parents, whānau, school boards and the wider community, Gage said.

Brodie Stone is the education and general news reporter at the Advocate. Brodie has spent most of her life in Whangārei and is passionate about delving into issues that matter to Northlanders and beyond.