Claire Trevett on the week in which Winston Peters stayed away, Simon Bridges talked about fruit, and National MP Mark Mitchell takes a bath as the NZ Parliamentary Rugby Team arrived in Japan.
Monday: Jack Dorsey: Ninja, and where is Winston?
Twitter's CEO Jack Dorsey came to the Beehive and despite media stakeouts at various strategic points, he managed to get in and out of the building without being spotted.
Dorsey is either a ninja or the powers-that-be snuck him in through an unorthodox entry to avoid the media.
If the former, security might want to check their protocols.
In the end, the only person who got a photo of Dorsey at the Beehive was Dorsey: Dorsey tweeted a photo of himself and Ardern in her office.
Ardern did not tweet about the meeting. There may have been an awkward moment in the conversation about why Ardern had tweeted only three times this year, and not since May 17 when she tweeted to acknowledge the death of former Australian PM Bob Hawke.
The PM was also asked about the return of NZ First leader Winston Peters, who was heading into his third week of recovery after knee surgery.
Ardern advised Peters had not yet been given clearance to fly.
That prompted one journalist to ask why he did not simply catch the train to Wellington, given his fervour for KiwiRail. Ardern dared the journalist to ask Peters.
Twitter boss Jack Dorsey meets Jacinda Ardern at the Beehive
Beehive Diaries: PM skips KiwiBuild, Bridges plays cricket
Claire Trevett: The PM, Twitter and stealth propaganda
To be continued.
Tuesday: Diplomatic fruit salad
National Party leader Simon Bridges was back from his trip to India and China, but some stories of his adventures were still flowing in.
Among them was a report of his meeting with Guo Shengkun, who is in charge of the Ministry of State Security – and China's secret police.
Bridges was apparently unaware of the secret police side of things until it was on social media.
That is something of a surprise given he was accompanied by foreign affairs officials who you would think would brief a politician on such a matter.
In another interesting development, Newsroom journalist Sam Sachdeva noted Bridges had taken recycling to a new level by recycling a metaphor.
The metaphor was attributed by Bridges to Chinese President Xi Jinping and compared New Zealand to a cherry and China to a watermelon – one was small, one was big but both were delicious.
It transpired Bridges had rolled out the very same metaphor when he had been in India, designating India as the watermelon.
A hunt for reports of Xi saying this proved fruitless (I know, sorry).
Bridges later told Beehive Diaries he recalled Xi saying it in a meeting he was in with Xi and former PM John Key some years ago.
Friday: Rub-a-dub-dub, big men in a small tub
The Parliamentary Rugby Team arrived in Japan for the Parliamentary Rugby World Cup after days of intensive training.
Checking into the hotel, those looking forward to hot baths to soak away the aches after a big game were given some bad news.
They were told players with tattoos could not use the public baths, hot springs or pools because of the association of tattoos with crime syndicates or yakuza .
That counted out half of the team.
The good news was that their rooms had bathtubs.
The consolation of that lasted until they saw those bathtubs – which were about two foot long.
That does not leave much room for the likes of the burly National MP Mark Mitchell, or his roomie, police man Bill Crowe.
The New Zealand team includes the only woman in the tournament, Parliamentary staffer Suzanne Yee, who plays at halfback or wing.
Yee is believed to be the first woman to play in the tournament, which takes place in the lead up to the Rugby World Cup every four years.
Yee has played rugby for the Māori Ferns - and the men should be warned she is also high up in karate.
Among the other players are co-captains Damien O'Connor (Labour) and Mark Mitchell (National) as well as National MPs Michael Woodhouse and Hamish Walker.
One notable absentee from the team is Winston Peters, whose dicky knee has precluded him playing for some time but who has gone along in the past to act as media liaison.
As a result of his efforts the last time the team went to a big tournament the media had no idea they were there until after they returned.
Where's Winston Part II:
Friday delivered an answer to Monday's train question, of sorts.
Having tweeted a photo of himself walking dog Beau on Wednesday, Peters tweeted a further proof-of-life moment on Friday morning.
It was a photo of himself smiling at his desk, with the caption "the political train is definitely back on track".
Some were suspicious that a newspaper in front of him was the NZ Herald on September 2 rather than today's.
It was open at an article about Peters' various feuds.
The other notable item on his desk was a copy of UMR's political poll. UMR also does polling for Labour.
Given Peters' grin, perhaps the poll held some good news for him.