Parents Bonita and Morris Rubena-Misilisi speak out about the seriousness of allergies after losing their daughter Edyn Rubena-Misilisi in the lead-up to Xmas. Photo / Supplied
Parents Bonita and Morris Rubena-Misilisi speak out about the seriousness of allergies after losing their daughter Edyn Rubena-Misilisi in the lead-up to Xmas. Photo / Supplied
Bonita and Morris Rubena-Misilisi have had "a lot of brutal first moments" since losing their daughter Edyn last month but are drawing some comfort from a special tree planted in her memory.
The teen, who had a nut allergy, died after unknowingly eating nuts last month. Following her death familyfriends, who lost their son suddenly two years ago, offered support like no other and suggested planting a "whanau" tree.
The friends' suggested Edyn's tree be positioned next to their son's "so their roots could intertwine and grow together".
Edyn's kahikatea tree at CUE Haven, planted next to that of a family friend so their roots can intertwine and grow together. Photo / Supplied
The tree was planted on December 9, among 500 other memorial trees at a native forest park in Kaipara known as CUE (Cultivating Understanding and Enlightenment) Haven.
"We've had a lot of brutal first moments that haven't been the same without her but Morris (Edyn's father) and I have an agreement that only one of us can break down at a time," Edyn's mother Bonita Rubena-Misilisi told the Herald ahead of Christmas.
Planting the tree has given the family some peace to grieve.
"It's an hour and half drive but visiting her there brings a sense of calmness," Rubena-Misilisi said.
At just 16, Edyn was discovered collapsed on her bed after accidentally eating nuts while the family were visiting friends near their house in Manurewa.
She had slipped home to inject herself with her Epipen - a device that administers adrenaline to combat severe allergic reactions- without telling anyone and called an ambulance.
It wasn't until the ambulance turned up that Edyn's mum realised something was wrong.
Her daughter was rushed to hospital where she spent several days in an induced coma before the family made the heart-breaking decision to turn off her life support.
Morris Rubena-Misilisi holding his "lover of life" teen daughter Edyn in her last moments. Photo / Supplied
The couple are speaking out to warn people about the severity of allergies in the lead-up to Christmas.
"The last thing we want is for another family to go through what we have which is why it's so important people take all allergies seriously as it can lead to death," Rubena-Misilisi said.
The grieving mother said one of the biggest things people needed to know was that an Epipen was only a time-saver, not a life-saver.
"It buys you about 5 to 7 minutes. It's only a temporary measure before the ambulance gets there and a lot of people know that.
"Before Edyn's death she had been in hospital and had to have adrenaline four times in a space of a couple of hours," Rubena-Misilisi said.
In the end not telling anyone that she was having a reaction was ultimately what killed Edyn, her mother said.
Edyn slipped home to inject herself with her Epipen before calling the ambulance but it was too late and it wasn't until the ambulance arrived that her mother realised something was wrong.
