Mum of murdered backpacker Grace Millane to trek Mt Everest for charity

The mother of slain British backpacker Grace Millane is set to trek the world’s highest mountain as she continues to raise awareness of men’s violence against women. Gillian Millane climbed Mt Kilimanjaro in December raising money for White Ribbon – and next month she’s tackling Mt Everest for the same cause. Gillian spoke to senior journalist Anna Leask about her upcoming expedition.

Gillian Millane knows she will never be the same person she was before Grace was murdered.

Without her beautiful daughter in her life, it’s simply not possible.

But she is trying to rebuild herself – and save as many other women and girls as she can along the way.

Grace died in Auckland in December 2018 – on the weekend of her 22nd birthday. She was strangled to death by Jesse Kempson in his central city apartment after connecting with him through a dating app.

Kempson put Grace’s body in a suitcase and buried her in a shallow grave in the Waitākere Ranges.

Grace Millane.

In 2019, a jury found him guilty of her murder and he was sentenced to life in prison. In November 2020, Kempson was convicted on eight charges relating to offending against his former partner including sexual violation by unlawful sexual connection, threatening to kill, assault with a weapon and male assaults female.

And a month later he was convicted on one charge of sexually violating a woman – another British tourist like Grace.

The Millane family suffered a further cruel blow when Grace’s father David died of cancer in 2020.

Gillian still finds it hard to speak about her immeasurable loss.

She remembers her daughter and husband “with a smile on my face” and is channelling all of her grief into helping others.

“Speaking out is incredibly difficult, but if it raises awareness and helps people understand how much of an issue male violence against women and girls is - then I will keep doing it,” she said.

“We are trying to turn our negative into a positive for others.

“We want to make sure that no other family has to sit through what we did in court and we want people who experience domestic abuse a chance to reach out to those that can help them, and know that people out there believe in them and that they matter.”

Grace Millane's mother Gillian received an OBE for the charity she created in her daughter's memory.

Gillian has stopped trying to get her life “back to normal” and is embracing a new journey.

“You are never the same person you once were, but I am hopefully making a difference in their memory,” she said.

“I want to challenge myself and give myself something to work towards – and it helps with my mental health. Having something to get up and train for really helps.

“But ultimately it’s about raising money and awareness of male violence against women and girls.”

Gillian has been working with a personal trainer and attending altitude training sessions – as she did before Mt Kilimanjaro.

“I also have a group of friends made from my previous treks and we have been walking. I did Snowdon [a mountain in Wales] at the beginning of the summer, which was a challenge – but it helps gauge my fitness,” she said.

“I am heading off with Team Millane on September 21, so not long now.

British backpacker Grace Millane was murdered in December 2018.

“We are away for 18 days in total with a few acclimating days. We will be trekking eight days, going though villages and staying in teahouses.

“When we reach base camp, which is 5364 metres above sea level, it will then take us four days to come back down.”

Gillian’s sons Declan and Michael, along with other family and friends, have mixed feelings about her newfound love of mountain climbing.

“I think they think I am mad and should maybe find a less challenging hobby – but they are incredibly proud of what I am doing in Grace’s memory.”

She explained that “not much has changed” since the loss of her daughter and husband.

“I still miss them both each and every day,” she said.

“And I will be thinking of them both while I am trekking. I shall leave a stone engraved with their name at Base Camp.”

Detective Inspector Scott Beard, left, alongside Grace Millane's parents Gillian and her late father David outside the High Court at Auckland. Photo / Jason Oxenham

Gillian is also working towards setting up a charity in her daughter’s name.

She and her family set up Love Grace – a handbag appeal to help women who have been affected by domestic violence.

The idea for Love Grace came from a social media post seeking handbags filled with essential items for homeless women – toiletries and the like.

The Millane family worked with a local women’s refuge to do the same for its clients.

They set an initial target of 50 bags but that was “well surpassed”. Love Grace appeals have now been run throughout the UK, New Zealand, the US, Canada and Singapore with more than 7000 women receiving a bag of much-needed items.

“What started as a 50-bag target is now at over 20,000 bags,” Gillian told the Herald.

“We hope to become a registered charity with Love Grace and be able to get more bags to areas that need them.

The late Grace Millane loved handbags. Photo / Chris Steel

“We are currently planning our next NZ appeal, which begins in February, and more details of that will be coming after Christmas.”

Gillian said Grace inspired her every day.

“Grace was a fun-loving, adventurous, family-orientated girl who had the world at her feet. I want people to remember her for that,” she said.

“And hopefully each bag we give to a lady is a smile on a face which is in Grace’s memory.

“I am incredibly proud of what we have set up with friends and family and volunteers from around the world.”

For more on the NZ Love Grace appeal, click here.

To find out more about White Ribbon in New Zealand and to donate, click here.

Anna Leask is a Christchurch-based reporter who covers national crime and justice. She joined the Herald in 2008 and has worked as a journalist for 18 years with a particular focus on family and gender-based violence, child abuse, sexual violence, homicides, mental health and youth crime. She writes, hosts and produces the award-winning podcast A Moment In Crime, released monthly on nzherald.co.nz