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Home / New Zealand

Millennial issues: How to get over having sexual regrets

NZ Herald
4 Apr, 2019 10:27 PM3 mins to read

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"As long as you are safe and you are looking after yourself, it does not matter who you are sleeping with."

"As long as you are safe and you are looking after yourself, it does not matter who you are sleeping with."

We've all had that anxiety-riddled feeling after having a few too many drinks and accidentally hooking up with someone you may not have meant to.

Brief feelings of desire and empowerment can be shortly followed by dread and regret after hearing gossip about your behaviour.

This week on Girls On Top, Brodie, Gracie and Caitlin dissect a listener question from a young woman who says she feels 'slutty' after getting with a few people and then hearing about her antics second-hand.

"Babes, hands up, I have been there (before) in her situation," says Caitlin.

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"I can definitely relate. I will speak from experience. I think in your 20s - maybe earlier 20s -you are going around bonking. I don't know if it has changed for chicks in their 20s now because I'm not there. But certainly if you were having a bit of the sexy time... people would be judgey and it would be an attitude that you were very aware of. Now, fast forward… who gives a shit? I hope that I can pass that message on to younger girls if that is still a thing. As long as you are safe and you are looking after yourself, it does not matter who you are sleeping with as long as you are making safe decisions for you," says Brodie.

"And looking after your mind as well," she adds.

"That was the biggest things for me when I was going out and getting drunk and having some fun with a guy and then waking up and then just having this huge wave of guilt and anxiety and all of that stuff and you say to yourself, 'why did I do that? I wish I never did that' but you did and it's okay" says Caitlin.

Gracie adds that you also shouldn't be hung up on a 'spur-of-the-moment' decision you made, because, at the time, you wanted to make it.

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"I think it is also about forgiving yourself if you find yourself in that moment. You shouldn't stay mad at yourself. You did it for a reason, you felt really good (at the time) and you enjoyed yourself so why keep being hung up about it," says Gracie.

Brodie and Caitlin then boil it down to staying true to yourself and not letting other people's opinions of you rule what you do or how you feel.

"It's the stigma that you put on it yourself, because of what other people think," says Caitlin.

"And if people are judging you, well, then they are not worth bothering about," says Brodie.

Listen to the full Girls On Top episode below!

They also chat about the importance of a good fitting bra and an update on Brodie's love life.

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